


Turn and Turn Again

by nyagosstar



Series: Bitter 'verse [20]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-07
Updated: 2012-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 19:48:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyagosstar/pseuds/nyagosstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fuhrer’s plotting, Ed’s planning and Roy can’t sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is it. This is the last story in the Bitter 'verse. I never would have imagined when I wrote a little piece called Bitter in 2006 for a series of prompts that I would write so many words built around this idea. The manga wasn't finished and the 2003 series left me desperate to know Ed got to have a good life, so I made one for him. 
> 
> It was written for the fma_big_bang in early 2010 and includes two awesome, awesome works of art by bob_fish and Taylofwolf, which you can find in the original posting at the lj community.
> 
> The ever sparkly sainnis worked her beta magic on this, listening patiently when I whined about plot. She gave me a good shake when I need it and added commas and grammatical structure so everyone else could read it.

Four nights in a row Roy didn’t make it home before midnight. 

Their house was still with the quiet, echoing with a silence that draped every room that didn’t break with Roy’s arrival. He moved so softly through the rooms, so lightly, that only the flick of the lights—on and off, on and off—alerted Ed to Roy’s presence. 

When Roy came in, he was too exhausted to speak. Weariness clothed him like a well-made suit and followed his every step until he was too worn to do more than collapse in their bed. He had no words of interest in Ed’s day, or cutting recaps of his own. He whispered, when asked, that everything was fine, that everything would be all right but he stayed tense beside Ed, as if waiting to be called a liar.

In the darkness, he gripped Ed’s hand like a lifeline. And despite his exhaustion, Ed knew he didn’t sleep.

When the pattern stretched into the second week, Ed pushed a little harder for Roy to talk. They’d both accustomed themselves to Roy’s longer hours and more intense work now that he was in the Fuhrer’s inner circle, and there had been bad stretches before. 

As tempting as it was to let Roy continue to tell him nothing was wrong, as tempting as it was to ignore what was happening, Ed could see in every move Roy made, every breath he drew, every slow, tired blink that he was sitting on something big.

“You promised you wouldn’t keep me on the outside,” Ed said as Roy fell into bed at the end of the second week.

Roy blew out a harsh breath that sounded seconds away from a sob and tightened his hand around Ed’s. “Just give me a little more time.”

“Two more days, and then I’m going to Hughes.”

The laugh that came from Roy sounded sick and harsh as he rolled into Ed and clutched him with the same ferocity he’d shown his hand. “Not even Maes knows about this.”

 

***

“This is a very nondescript location at the behest of a cryptic message. Should I be wearing a disguise?” Hughes dropped into the seat across from Ed in what was probably the busiest café in Central. 

“Laugh it up.” Ed sipped his coffee slowly, savoring the rich, dark flavor as he waited for the waitress to bring Hughes his own mug. Maybe, okay, almost definitely, he was being paranoid. There really hadn’t been a need to send Hughes an anonymous note telling him to meet him here at one in the afternoon. Most definitely there hadn’t been cause to fake an appointment on his schedule at the office so that if someone was looking, they’d think Ed was anywhere but sitting with Hughes drinking coffee. And they were friends; friends met for coffee.

Except Hughes knew more about the things he wasn’t supposed to than anyone else in the military, and Ed had a sick feeling that something really bad was coming. Roy wasn’t sleeping.

Ed leaned across the table and tried to pitch his voice just loud enough for Hughes to hear. “What do you know about what’s going on with Roy?” He’d told Roy two days, but the sound of Roy’s sick laughter had been echoing in Ed’s thoughts all morning and he couldn’t wait that long.

Hughes paused in the midst of dumping too much sugar and milk into his coffee and cocked his head at Ed. “What do you mean?”

“What have you heard about what’s happening with the higher ups?”

“I haven’t heard a thing.” Hughes shook his head and leaned back in his chair, a tight frown crossing his face. 

“What do you mean, you haven’t heard anything? You hear everything.” Quiet panic, which until then had been lingering on the edge of Ed’s awareness, settled into him with a firm certain dread. “He’s practically the walking dead and that didn’t spark your curiosity?”

Hughes’ eyes flicked back and forth, as though scanning some internal file. “He’s seemed pretty normal to me. When did you notice something?”

Ed resisted the urge to slam his hand down on the table. “He’s been like this for days now, almost two weeks. I can’t believe he’s been hiding it from you. When was the last time Roy did anything without you knowing about it?”

Hughes grinned at him weakly. “When he got involved with you.” He took a slow sip of his coffee. “Roy’s gotten much better in the last few years at hiding things. It’s important, especially now when he’s so close to the inside. The wrong expression at the wrong time in front of the wrong person and that could be the end of it all.”

Ed wasn’t sure if Hughes was trying to be reassuring, but he wasn’t comforted by his words. “What the hell could it be? What could be so dangerous, so secret that you haven’t heard a whisper and Roy hasn’t slept in days?”

“It could be anything. You know what the military is like…troop movements, recruitment, maybe they’re talking about compulsory enlistment again. I know Roy is strongly opposed to that.” Hughes took off his glasses began polishing them on his shirt in a subtle move to glance around the room. “It’s probably nothing,” he said as he slipped them back on and turned their conversation to more mundane topics.

Ed wasn’t soothed, even though he let the subject drop. Something was going on, and he thought Hughes was sure as well, if for no other reason than Hughes didn’t try to make fun of him for the clandestine meeting. When they left, Hughes invented an excuse to sit at the table and wait for Ed to leave before heading out.

**

When he woke the next morning, Roy was already gone for the day and there was a note on the kitchen table with his name on it. Why Roy insisted on addressing notes of Ed when only the two of them lived in the house was something of a mystery, but then, Roy hadn’t been sleeping. As he poured himself coffee, he flipped the note open, noticing the shaky penmanship before the words. Roy’s penmanship was never anything but pristine.

> Ed,
> 
> Don’t change your normal routine. Go to the office; do whatever it is you planned on today. I’ll try to be home at eight, make sure you start writing something, anything, by hand, before I get in. We need to talk.
> 
> R.

Ed took a gulp of the coffee, barely noticing the burn as the hot liquid scalded his mouth and his throat going down. How the fuck was he supposed to go through his normal routine after a note like that? Roy was basically telling him they were being watched, _he_ was being watched, and whatever was happening was so dangerous, they couldn’t even speak.

On his way to his office, he felt exposed and twitchy with just the thought of someone watching him. As he walked, he could practically feel eyes on him and everyone he passed was a suspect. It was an effort not to glance over his shoulder every few steps and by the time he was finally inside his office building, he was sweating and out of breath like he’d run the whole way. He leaned against the wall for a moment, trying to calm his breathing and slow his heart rate before entering the office. The last thing he needed was a string of awkward and unanswerable questions from his secretary. 

He drew a deep breath, pushed himself away from the wall and walked through the door with a smile for Ginger. “Any messages?”

“Nothing official. Your brother called and asked if you could move your lunch up an hour; he has a meeting this afternoon.” She read the message off a slip of paper then threw it in the trash when she finished. “Do you want me to get him on the phone?”

Fuck. It was his day of the week to have lunch with Al. Which meant that anyone who was watching Ed would end up watching his brother. Roy told him not to change his routine, but Al’s call gave him the perfect opportunity to keep his brother out of their sights, whoever they were. “Yeah, see if he’s free.”

The door to his office was open and Ed tried to remember if he’d left it open when he left the night before. He thought he recalled pulling it closed before he left because it was starting to stick in the humidity of the early summer, but he couldn’t say for sure. It was also possible Ginger opened the door when she came in. She often complained that the offices felt small and cluttered when Ed closed his door and she’d been known to open the place up before he got in. As he scanned his desk and shelves, nothing looked out of place, but then, professionals didn’t leave traces of their snooping.

He took off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves and tried not to look at the clock on the wall telling him how many hours left of the day he had to get through.

Ginger stuck her head through the door. “He’s on the line for you.”

Ed nodded his thanks and picked up the phone. “Hey, Al.”

“Did you get my message?”

“Yeah, listen, about that, earlier is no good for me. Could we do lunch an hour later?” Ed asked, knowing full well that Al’s late afternoons were always full.

Al hummed into the phone and Ed could hear the phone flutter of turning pages. “Um, no, later’s no good. I’ve got appointments all afternoon. Maybe tomorrow then? I’d say dinner tonight, but I have a thing.”

“But I never see you anymore. Why don’t you cancel your appointments? How sick could your patients really be?” Ed felt sick about lying to Al even as the cheerful words rolled off his tongue. It was such a good thing they weren’t having this conversation in person because Ed was utter crap at lying to Al’s face.

“You’re so immature, brother. I saw you three days ago and I can’t ignore my patients because our schedules don’t match. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Al waited for his defeated murmur of agreement before changing topics. “Hey, did you read that article in _Popular Alchemy_ about using a six pointed array as a base to increase the power of the reaction?”

Ed smiled, and wondered how long he could keep Al on the phone. “Yeah, I laughed so hard Ginger thought she was going to have to call the paramedics. It’s a fucking crime what they’ll publish these days.” His hand tightened on the phone. “Did you see, did you fucking see that Russell fucking Tringham had a fucking feature? He wouldn’t know solid research if it bit him on the ass and his theories are still shit.”

“Yeah, I was hoping you hadn’t seen that. Still, he had some interesting things to say if you would give him a chance instead of holding on to some ridiculous old grudge.”

“He’s full of shit, no matter what he says.” Ed leaned back in his chair, a hand over his eyes as he felt Al’s words wash over him. Even on the receiving end of a scolding, it was good to hear his brother’s voice, good to let Al rattle on about what he’d read and what he’d heard and what new things he’d been thinking. Because while everyone fell all over themselves thinking Ed was the genius in the family, Al managed to do all the same shit without having pure knowledge forced into his brain by the Gate. In being a doctor, Al was the living embodiment of what it meant to be an alchemist: to be one for the people, to tend them and help them. Not to be on the government’s payroll because you couldn’t think of anything else to do with your life. 

“Are you even listening, brother?”

“Of course I am.” He leaned forward and planted his elbows on his desk, his chin in his hand. “I don’t care if he got awarded the top prize for alchemy in the universe, I don’t think he should be teaching alchemy at a university. You don’t learn alchemy in a classroom, you learn it from a master, and you certainly don’t learn it from Russell fucking Tringham.” 

Al laughed. “Don’t be such a snob. There’s some very compelling research coming out of Central University right now. Which you would know if you hadn’t gone out of your way to alienate the entire board of directors. Maybe if—“ Al broke off and Ed could hear him speaking to someone else in the room. “Yes, thank you. I have to go, my first patient is here. What I was going to say is that if it makes you so angry, why don’t you write an article? You know they’d take it in a heartbeat. Think about it and we’ll talk tomorrow.” Before Ed had a chance to argue or call the idea idiotic, Al hung up on him, leaving Ed with ten and a half hours before he started getting answers.

**

At half past eight, Ed’s hand was cramping. He’d given up on squinting at the page and put his glasses on and was more than half sure that despite his note, Roy wouldn’t be home for hours. The day had been a little bit like torture as Ed devised busywork to keep himself occupied, knowing that nothing he put his hand to would be of any value in the future. He couldn’t focus properly and he couldn’t go for more than ten minutes without spiraling into an unending ocean of questions.

The only bright spot of the day had been his short talk with Al, which had actually given him an excuse to spend the late evening hours writing. A journal article was the perfect excuse to fill pages and pages of paper, even if what he’d spent most of the evening writing was utter crap.

Quarter to nine and Ed was ready to give up the charade when he heard the soft jingle of keys and the door to the house opened. It was probably Roy, had to be Roy, because invaders don’t use keys, but Ed still tensed and was ready to transmute his arm to a blade and defend his home because without any answers, Ed didn’t know what kind of threat they were facing.

“Ed?”

He let out a long breath, shook his head at his own insanity and spoke up. “In here.” He tracked the sound of Roy moving through the house until he appeared, ghost-like, in the doorway. “You’re home early.” Ed held up his pencil and tried to convey his questions through facial expression alone.

“Sorry about that. I couldn’t get away the last couple of nights.” Roy shook his head and pressed a finger to his lips. “What are you working on?” He slumped against the doorway like it was the only thing holding him up.

“Al thinks I should write a journal article instead of bitching about how much I hate the ones they print every month.” He still had pages and pages of blank paper for them to talk on, which he showed to Roy.

He nodded slowly. “That’s not a bad idea. I’m going to go change and then maybe I could come and sit with you?”

“Of course.” He had to ask. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, just tired. I might fall asleep on you.” He turned and walked from the room without another word, his shoulders slumped and looking for all the world like he’d been defeated. But by what, Ed couldn’t say.

The wait was interminable—a heavy, physical thing hanging in the air—and it was all Ed could do to remember to continue to scratch out words on the pages, to try and follow Roy’s bizarre instructions. Tension that had been bearable throughout the day was now pressing in on him at full force. Ed was sure that nothing Roy told him could be as worse as waiting to be told.

When Roy came back, dressed in soft sleep pants and a short sleeved shirt, he looked more like a tired, ordinary man with sexily disheveled hair, instead of one of the most powerful in the country sitting on a potentially crippling secret. He took a seat next to Ed, wrapped his arms around him and pressed his face against Ed’s temple.

“You have really sexy forearms, you know.”

His words surprised a laugh out of Roy, which was the goal. “What?”

“You do. You keep them covered most of the time and so, sometimes I forget how really attractive they are.” He ran a hand from one of Roy’s elbow to the tip of his fingers. “Nicely muscled without being creepy. Just, nice.” 

Roy shivered under Ed’s caress. “I should see about short-sleeved uniforms.”

“No. I like it that they’re all mine.”

A slow smile crossed Roy’s face and it was so good to see him doing something other than going through with the motions of living. It was the first time in ages that Ed had seen an expression on his face that wasn’t lined with exhaustion and despair, making him regret that they didn’t have more time, that Ed couldn’t hold off his terrifying curiosity for a little longer. But he needed to know and Roy needed to tell someone. 

“Kind of like your glasses.” Roy reached out and pushed them up to the bridge of Ed’s nose. “Very scholarly.”

Ed frowned and jerked them off his face. He’d forgotten they were still there. “It’s not the same thing at all.”

Roy smiled again and leaned against him. “If you say so.” He reached out and pulled the pencil from Ed’s hand. “I’m just going to stay here; you keep on working what you were working on.”

“Do you need anything?”

“No.” But he set the pencil to paper and pressed so hard that he tore the paper with the lead.

> Your help.

Ed took the pencil.

> What the fuck is going on? Do you think we’re being watched?

> I know we’re being watched and listened to.

> How is that even possible?

Roy’s hand shook slightly as he wrote the next lines.

> They’ve hired an alchemist who specializes in sound waves. He can hear things yards away and I can’t take the chance. 

> Roy, tell me.

> Do you remember about a month ago I asked you about what this kind of array would do to objects under pressure? 

Roy sketched a few basic lines that wouldn’t have come close to activating, but were enough to get the point across.

Ed nodded, thinking back to the day Roy had shown him the diagram. 

 

_He looked at the array, run the reaction through his thoughts and then looked up at Roy. “Well, if you ever get the alchemy figured out properly, it’d be a hell of an explosion.”_

_“How big?”_

_Ed shrugged. “Big enough to take out all of Central, maybe a little bigger. So you know, if you guys are thinking of taking out cities, keep Drachma in mind. If those motherfuckers raise the price of coffee one more time we’re going to have to sell the fucking house to keep it in stock._

 

Ed’s eyes widened and he started at Roy.

> I was joking. 

> They weren’t. 

> God, what the fuck are you thinking? You can’t… no one should have this. How did it even come up? We took out Bradley and the Homunculi to keep this kind of shit from happening and it’s starting all over again? You have to stop it. 

> I don’t know how. The Fuhrer’s had people working on it for a while now and they’re about to start testing, which is why he brought us in on the project. Apparently something isn’t right and he wanted fresh eyes to try and find a solution. There are some pretty big flaws in the alchemy and the science, but it won’t be long before someone else figures it out. 

> Then you’ve got to stop them. 

> How? This is the kind of thing, new regime or not, that they’d kill us for, without a second thought. I can’t feed them misinformation indefinitely. 

Ed looked up from the paper, looked into Roy’s eyes and saw the desperation and the determination there.

[](http://s117.photobucket.com/albums/o43/starkee_photos/?action=view&current=nyagosstarfinal.jpg) illustration by bob_fish

> You know what you have to do. 

> Ed--

> You have to take it down from the inside. You have to take over and then destroy the research, every last living bit of it until there isn’t even a memory. 

> That’s treason. 

But his face showed no fear.

> You always wanted to be Fuhrer. Now’s the chance. Want to overthrow the government? Again? 

> I don’t want any deaths, not again. 

> That’s because you’re a good man. So, we just need to figure out how to start a bloodless revolution, huh? 

Roy sighed and closed his eyes.

> I’m open to any ideas, because I haven’t been able to think of a thing. 

> Give me a little time. And burn this paper. 

**

Roy wasn’t the only one who didn’t sleep that night. Despite the weariness pressing down on him, Ed couldn’t close his eyes without seeing an explosion of such destructive force it would make losing a city to the Philosopher’s Stone look like a slap on the wrist. Next to him, perhaps because of the relief of actually telling someone, or perhaps his body had finally overpowered his will, Roy slept, though even in sleep he was tense. Instead of his shifting and kicking and wandering hands, Roy hardly moved throughout the night, so still Ed placed a hand on Roy’s chest just to feel the movement of his breathing.

Long before dawn, Ed slipped out of bed and spent the better part of the night leaning against the kitchen counter sipping coffee and thinking. His first instinct was to take on the Fuhrer himself. Charge into his office and demand an explanation at gunpoint. The problem with that plan was that he was very unlikely to get within two hundred yards of the Fuhrer without an appointment and even if he did somehow see the man, Ed would likely end up dead and Roy would be imprisoned and likely executed. So, yeah, that was a bad plan. 

He didn’t have enough information. The few lines Roy had been able to write for him didn’t give Ed a clear enough picture to know how much time they had to play with and how many people were involved. If it was more than a handful—sure, they could destroy the research and threaten them to never work on it again—eventually someone would pick the work back up.

By the time Roy came downstairs looking more rested if not well rested, Ed had a note waiting for him along with a mug of coffee.

> You need to get me inside. Tell them you know just the person to help in completing the arrays. I already contracted for the military. I was their dog for long enough and with your position at risk, no one will suspect a thing.

Roy shook his head at the note, checked the windows to make sure the curtains were closed before arguing. “It’s too dangerous,” he mouthed silently.

“You can’t do this alone. With both of us, there will be someone to watch our backs,” Ed mouthed back, stabbing a finger at the first line of his note.

Roy stood and stared at him for a long time, the pulse point in his throat pounding against his flesh until Ed felt compelled to reach out and soothe it. “You can’t back out now.”

“We could lose everything.” Roy closed the space between them and crushed Ed to him.

“It’s worth it. The big things usually are.” He reached up and held Roy’s face in his hands and he could almost see him standing in front of thousands addressing them as their Fuhrer. “You’re going to be late,” he said in a normal tone.

The puff of Roy’s breath as he laughed caressed Ed’s forehead. “Can’t have that. I’ll probably be late again.”

Ed pulled Roy in for a kiss, trying to erase the taste of worry and desperation on Roy’s lips and replace it with hope. “Be safe.”

He stood in the kitchen and waited for the sounds of Roy’s car to fade before he grabbed his coat and headed to his office. Normality—doing everything the way he always did it to avoid arousing unwanted attention or suspicion—was the word that echoed through Ed’s mind with every step he took. He smiled at he people he smiled at every morning, avoided the dog on the corner that seemed to have it out for him. At the corner market, he stopped in to pick up a fresh paper because Roy always destroyed the one they got delivered to the house. How the man ended up tearing pages and losing whole sections _every day_ was simply beyond him.

Ginger already had the office open and was in the midst of opening some windows when Ed entered. She smiled over her shoulder at him. “It’s such a nice day I thought we could let some air in.”

Ed grunted to show he could not possibly care less about the state of the windows, which Ginger apparently took as whole hearted agreement and threw open every window in the office. At his desk, Ed dropped his things and sat with his head in his hands for just a moment. A moment’s weakness, a single moment when all of the doubt and the terror came rushing through him because here they were, ten years later doing it all over again. And wasn’t there a point at which he was going to be too old or too slow or too stupid to save the world at every turn? Because the little injustices, the crazy alchemists, the stupid politicians, those he could handle. It was dirty and annoying, but ultimately to be expected. Fearing his own government, though, that was beyond the pale. They had just started to recover from Bradley.

“Mr. Elric? Are you all right?” Ginger spoke in her softest voice, probably thinking he had a hangover or was coming down with something. Who would look at him and think he was actively trying to overthrow the government?

“Yeah, just a little tired. I spent all night thinking about this paper I’m writing.” He looked up, feeling only a little guilty about how easy it was to lie. “Get my brother on the phone for me, would you? We’re supposed to reschedule lunch today.”

“I don’t know how you do it. It’s barely eight and you’re already thinking about your next meal. That’s what you should be writing papers on, how you eat so much and stay so thin.”

Ed snorted. He didn’t think automail as a weight loss scheme would ever catch on. “My brother, please.”

A few moments later he had Al, sounding sleepy on his line. “Did I wake you?”

“Mmmm, technically, Ginger woke me. Do you know what time it is, brother?”

“What are you still doing asleep? Isn’t your clinic opening in half an hour?”

“How is it possible that your secretary can remember my schedule but you can’t? We open later on Thursdays so we can have extended evening hours. It’s my one day a week to sleep in.”

“Sorry, but we’re supposed to reschedule lunch today and I wanted to be able to plan my morning.” And hear the sound of Al’s voice, just to reassure himself that nothing had happened to him during the night.

Al groaned. “I can’t believe you woke me for that. You know, if you could bottle—“

“Yeah, yeah, I heard it already once this morning. I should be huge, let’s all move on. How does eleven work for you?”

“Yeah, that should be, no wait, I have a thing. Eleven thirty?”

Ed nodded into the phone and marked the time on his planner. The planner he only used for personal appointments—things that made him happy—like lunch with Al or Tuesdays with Roy. “How about that place around the corner from your office?”

“Done. Can I go back to sleep now?”

Ed hung up and spent the rest of his morning trying to figure out exactly how much he could tell Al to convey the danger he was in without getting him involved in any way. The cover of his journal article would be perfect to keep the details of their conversation on a page instead of spoken where anyone could overhear. But he knew his brother. Al had followed him every step of the way, past all boundaries of common sense and he wouldn’t stop just because Ed told him so.

He was still debating how much he could reveal when he looked up and saw that even if he left right away, he would be late in meeting his brother. Ginger was supposed to remind him of his appointments, though admittedly, it only worked if he let her know ahead of time that he had them. Grabbing his coat and his papers, Ed ran for the door and hailed the first taxi he could grab, paying the driver twice the asking price to break speeding laws to get him there as soon as possible.

At their usual table, Al was already seated and tucking in to a colorful bowl of pasta. On the table across from him, Al had clearly ordered for Ed—a kindness that Ed would never be able to reciprocate because where Ed ate pretty much the same thing every time he went somewhere, Al liked to experiment with new things and Ed could never predict from one day to the next what mood would strike Al’s fancy.

“Thanks. Sorry I’m late,” he said as he slid into the booth, careful to keep his papers covered by his coat for the moment.

“It wouldn’t be lunch if we were both on time.” Al smiled around a mouthful of food.

Ed dove into his food, despite his lack of appetite. Everything was about maintaining the norm and right now, that meant eating like it was his favorite thing to do in the world. They were silent for a few moments while the first round of food was cleared and they could both come up for breath without feeling like they were being deprived of something essential. Their waiter came by to refill their water glasses, and still Ed let Al chatter at him about patients and medical bureaucracy and how strange it was sometimes to have patients and a clinic and a reputation.

“What about you, brother? What have you been up to?”

Ed cleared his throat and slid the slim stack of papers across the table, overriding his hesitation with the knowledge that he couldn’t risk Al. “I took your advice and started working on an article. I thought you could take a look at it for me, if you have time.”

All morning Ed had been debating with himself about what he could and should share with Al. To keep him from danger, the best course of action would have been to tell him nothing at all, to go about their lunch as usual and keep everything in. As long as Al didn’t ask him how he was or how Roy was, everything would be fine. He thought about asking Al to trust him, to do as he said and get out of the city for a couple months, but his brother wasn’t one for following Ed blindly. Not anymore. And if Ed wanted to talk to Al at a later date, after he’d gotten involved in the Fuhrer’s project, there was no guarantee that he would ever have an opportunity this good again.

Al accepted the papers and began scanning them, a thoughtful expression on his face. “This is really interesting, brother. If you clean it up a little and take out all the expletives, I think they’d probably fall all over themselves for the opportunity to print this.” 

In the end, he decided to tell Al nothing. His brother was more of an all or nothing kind of man and Ed couldn’t bear the thought of him in danger, again, because of something Ed was involved in. So, he handed over his notes on his paper for _Popular Alchemy_ and hoped for the best. “You think so?”

“Yeah, this is really good. It is a first draft, though, right? You used the word ‘fuck’ eleven times and I’m pretty sure you can’t get away with it even once. Also, the paragraph here in the middle,” Al tipped the page toward him. “Isn’t alchemy so much as you just bitching about how much you hate Russell. I don’t think that’s going to win you any readers.”

Ed frowned, because he’d kind of been hoping that they would publish the piece as he wrote it. “You don’t think it could submit it that way and tell them it was because I wanted to wake up their readers? A little language gets people excited; it keeps their attention.”

“It makes them cancel their subscriptions. I don’t think you’re going to get away with it.” Al flipped through the pages once more then looked up. “Can I keep this? I could make a couple notes for you, help you clean it up a bit and then drop it by your office tomorrow?”

“I don’t know.” The less contact he had with Al at the moment, the safer they all would be.

“Honestly, brother. It’s not like I’ll ask for credit in the article for fixing your grammar.”

“It’s not that.” Ed furiously tried to think of an excuse.

Al tided the papers and slipped them in to his briefcase. “Then what is the problem?”

He blurted the first thing that came to mind. “Your office isn’t secure.”

“My office isn’t secure?” Al repeated slowly. “You are so paranoid sometimes. What do you think will happen? Rogue alchemist researchers so desperate for new ideas are going to ransack my clinic office—which is secure, thank you very much—in the desperate hope that I might leave your stunningly brilliant op-ed piece lying around for anyone to copy? I think you need a vacation.” Al paused and the concerned Doctor Al made an appearance. “You look tired.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been working on this all night, haven’t I?” Ed pushed his empty plate away and leaned back in the booth, further from Al’s discerning gaze. “Fine, you can keep it, but just be careful. I worked really hard on that.”

Al rolled his eyes. “I’ll see if I can keep my patients from bleeding on it. I don’t know what you think sometimes.”

The weight of Roy’s secret suddenly pressed down on Ed hard enough to leave him short of breath. His stomach clenched, nearly rebelling against the food he’d just eaten and for one second, one endless terrifying second, Ed considered telling Al everything, regardless of the danger. Roy was so deep in his own panic and so certain they were being watched there was hardly any chance for the two of them to talk, and Ed was brimming with the secret. And even when Ed couldn’t share his secrets with the rest of the world, Al could be trusted. Through blood and metal and terror he’d proven his trust.

But the second passed with Al finishing the last few bites of his lunch looking calm and collected and _happy_ , and there was no way Ed could take that away from him, even though the weight of it crushed him. Even when a very small piece of him resented Al for not asking the question. That his brother, who knew him better than anyone else in the world, could sit with him and eat with him and not instinctively know something else was going on. Ed wondered when it was that he’d learned to lie so convincingly to his brother. 

Five years ago it wouldn’t have even been a question. Al would have looked him in the eye, pinned him to the ground and made him talk. Instead, they finished their lunch, talked about the little things that had happened to them during the week and Al didn’t even argue with him when he went to pay the bill.

Standing in the bright afternoon sun, the shine from Al’s hair almost blinding him, Ed hesitated for only a second before hugging Al in parting. He made his body relax and kept his limbs loose in the embrace, begging his body not to expose the lie.

“Give my best to Riza.” Even after years of having her as his sister in law, her first name felt strange on his tongue.

“And to Roy. I’ll call you when I have this ready for you,” Al lifted his briefcase in a half wave and turned down the street toward his clinic.

Ed let out breath and shoved his hands in his pockets, watching Al until he was out of sight before turning to look for a cab to drive him back to his office. Across the street, Ed saw a man standing against a light post reading a newspaper and at the corner a young woman was enjoying an ice cream. For the life of him, Ed couldn’t remember if he’d seen them both when he’d entered the café or if he was being overly paranoid.

** 

“So, let’s say I wanted to do something nice for Al without him knowing about it. How would I go about doing that?” Ed dropped into a seat across from Hughes.

“Don’t you have a job?”

Ed looked around the empty office and the mess on the desk from where Hughes had clearly not been doing any work. “I could ask you the same thing.”

Hughes cleared his throat and leaned forward. “What kind of something nice were you thinking of?”

With a shrug, Ed slouched further into the chair. Hughes always had the nicest chairs in his office. Though the taxpayer in Ed didn’t want to know how much the furniture cost, when he was visiting, it was nice to actually be comfortable. Especially when he felt that at any moment someone might try to lodge a dagger in his ribs. “I don’t know. He’s been working really hard at the clinic and now he’s editing this article I’m working on for _Popular Alchemy_ and I want to do something nice. But you know Al, if I try to do something outright he’ll be all, ‘I can’t possibly take this, Brother.’ You know, typical Al.”

“What did you have in mind? Money, new curtains, a vacation…give me something to work with.”

Ed tipped his head back like he was thinking through the suggestions, even though he’d known well before he set foot on military property exactly what he wanted from Hughes. No doubt if he was being followed, his watchers would have no qualms about watching him inside a military complex and the odds of the surveillance being better inside were pretty even. “If I thought he’d actually spend the money on himself I’d go with that, but you know he’d just dump it into his clinic and maybe a new cat and since he’s already about set to open his own animal hospital with all the fucking animals they have, money’s not such a good idea.” Ed stared at Hughes, willing him to catch on, willing him to be the one to suggest what Ed wanted.

“What about a vacation then? You could pay for it all in advance and I could set up something to make it look like he won a prize. Non-refundable, all amenities included, something he’d have to take. Though, you’re setting yourself up for quite a lot because nonrefundable or not, he’s not going to go without Hawkeye.”

Ed shrugged. Al’s safety was worthy any price. “The military pays me very well to clean up their messes and to maintain their secrets. I can afford it. Do you really think that’s something that would work?”

Hughes grabbed a sheet of paper and made a few notes. “Should do. Let me look in to what sort of sweepstakes are going on, what we could sign Al up for without him getting too suspicious. Any idea where you’d like to send him?”

As far away as possible. “I don’t know, somewhere sunny. A beach somewhere?”

“Any particular time frame? I mean, if you want them to leave tomorrow, this is going to be pretty tricky.” 

“He’s looking pretty tired, so sooner is better than later, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be this week. I’d say before the end of the month, though, would be ideal.”

“Sounds good.” Hughes added a few more notes and stuck the paper on the top of his inbox. “Now, for business.” He opened his top drawer and before Ed could stop him, he had a stack of pictures. “Have you seen these yet? No, of course not. I just had them developed. Look at this one here, Ben is dressed up as an Alchemist for his school play. Isn’t he the greatest?”

“Yeah, that’s great, Hughes, but I really can’t stay. I have very important, um…I’m very important and busy.” Ed shoved himself upright. “Call me when you have things figured out for Al.” Ed ran from the room and shut the door behind him before Hughes could shout anything in his direction. With any luck, not only would Hughes be able to figure out something for Al, he’d take the hint, put the pieces together and figure out a way to get himself and his family out of the city for a while.

As he walked down the surprisingly quiet halls where anyone could be spying on him, Ed wondered which would be more suspicious, stopping to see Roy or avoiding him. It was rare that Ed didn’t stop in to see Roy when his business brought him to Central Headquarters. Occasionally he didn’t drop in to see him, usually as a result of an appointment or a meeting or a train to catch. Since he didn’t have any of those reasons, Ed sighed and turned at the next corner to head to Roy’s office.

Roy’s outer office was empty when Ed entered, and the door to the inner office was closed. Ed hesitated. Had it been any other day, any other week, Ed would have gone ahead and left a note tacked to the door and gone about his business. This time last year, Ed would have stuck his head in the door just to see if it was something he could interrupt. 

“Hello, Mr. Elric. Can I help you with something?”

Ed jumped and spun in a move worthy of a version of himself fifteen years ago, and then tried to recover with some measure of grace. “Is Roy in?”

Mrs. Landingham had the courtesy not to comment on his display and instead shook her head as she took her seat. “I’m sorry, the General is in a meeting with the Fuhrer. He’s had several this week and they have all lasted at least two hours. Shall I tell him you called?”

“I was just in the neighborhood,” he shrugged, almost relieved that they wouldn’t have to go through the motions of a normal visit. “I’ll see him tonight. Thanks.”

“Of course, Mr. Elric.”

Ed gave a half wave and headed out of the office trying to decide if Mrs. Landingham could be one of the people spying on Roy. Roy swore that she was the best secretary he’d ever had, and she’d been with him for almost five years now and had certainly treated Ed better than any of the previous secretaries, but that didn’t mean anything. It probably wasn’t rule number one in spy school to make your mark hate you. 

Sometimes Ed wasn’t really that okay with how their lives had changed. His greatest hope was that when Roy was finally Fuhrer, when he finally made it to the top, everything would get just a little bit easier. As a realist, he knew it wouldn’t be easy, but he hoped it be a little less fraught.

Stepping out into the bright sunlight of the late afternoon, Ed checked his watch and saw that most of the day had passed him by and if he wanted to get any work done at all, he’d have to barricade himself in his office until the end of the day. With a sigh, he stepped to the corner and held up a hand to flag down the next taxi.

 

*


	2. Chapter 2

Ed yawned over his coffee, his head propped in his hand as he watched Roy go through the motions of his morning ritual. He worked his way methodically through a bowl of oatmeal; Ed could never understand how someone as sensual as Roy, who enjoyed the finer things in life so much, would love oatmeal of all things. It was lumpy and weird and he made it with milk.

Roy finished his breakfast as he finished the morning paper, predictably destroyed, and stood. “I’ll be late again tonight. Sorry.” He kissed Ed and there was absolutely nothing routine about that. Roy was flush against him, full length, his face smooth against Ed’s as yet unshaven cheeks. He pressed his lips against Ed’s and slid his hands around Ed’s waist to pull him in closer. Ed reached up to tangle his fingers in Roy’s hair, pulling at the short, bristly ones at the back of his neck. Roy ran his tongue along Ed’s palette while Ed did his best not to leave a mark on Roy’s lip. 

After a long moment, Ed took in a ragged breath and pushed Roy away. “You’d better go now or I’m not going to let you out the door.”

Roy grinned, a boyish, rogue grin that Ed hadn’t seen in too long. “It’d be a great reason to be late.” 

Ed ran a hand down the front of Roy’s uniform. “Get out of here. You’re too important to be late.” 

With a sharp salute and the echo of a smile, Roy left with a light step and a little of the quiet desperation that had been clinging to him gone. Ed finished his coffee, thought hard about brewing another pot just for him and started packing up his papers and books for the trip to his office. It was still early, but the walk would do him good, and the weather was nice enough that hailing a taxi seemed like a crime. After walking from one end of Amestris to the other, it seemed an unforgivable weakness in character to not use the legs he had. 

He was nearly out the door when the phone rang. Ed hesitated for just a moment, considering letting it ring. Whoever was on the other end could always track him down at his office. Hand on the door, coat and books in hand, Ed still could not walk away from a ringing phone.

“Hello?”

“Oh, thank goodness. I thought I might miss you. I know how you like to walk in the mornings.”

“Al?” His brother sounded out of breath, scattered in a way that Al never sounded. Not when he was wrist deep in a patient’s body, not when he was in the midst of resuscitating a child and not when he was bringing Ed back from the brink.

“Don’t freak out. I’m okay and everything is okay, but someone broke in to my clinic last night and I…I don’t know what to do.”

“Are you sure you’re all right? Is someone there with you? Are you sure the person isn’t still in the building? Have you called for the police?” Ed dropped his books and papers on the table next to the phone, his body clenched and ready for a fight.

“No one else is in yet, but there isn’t anyone here. It must have been hours ago; the rooms are stone cold.” He could hear Al drag in a long breath and he could almost see his brother running his hand through his hair as he tried to compose himself. “I didn’t think. I just called you. Of course I should have called the police.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it. I’ll be there as soon as I can, but I want you to get out of the building, okay, Al? Just get out of the building, go sit in the coffee shop across the street and wait for me. I’ll only be a couple minutes. I’ll make a few calls and have Hughes or one of his men meet us there. Oh, and call Riza and tell her. Don’t let her find out through the pipeline. I’ll see you soon.” Ed hung up the phone, and then picked it up to slam it back down for good measure. “Fuck!”

He swore a couple more times to make himself feel better before getting Hughes on the phone and garnering his cooperation. It wasn’t strictly a military matter, and Al had never strictly been on the military payroll, but there weren’t many who didn’t have a soft spot for his little brother or who didn’t owe him for one thing or another.

When he found Al in the coffee shop across the street from his clinic his brother had calmed down some, but he still looked ready to start throwing things. 

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Ed asked, unable to stop himself.

Al huffed. “Of course I’m fine, brother. Do you know what isn’t fine? My clinic. They broke the windows and the door. They trashed the waiting room, they took _everything_ from the storage room and they destroyed my office.”

A cold chill swept up Ed’s back at Al’s last words. “Your office? Did you have anything important in there? Medicine, supplies, anything?”

The sound of sirens reached them and Al stood, even as he shook his head. “I keep patient files in there and some reference books. Oh, no. Oh, Ed.” He looked at Ed in horror. “I forgot my briefcase last night. Your article. I thought it would be safe until this morning. You worked so hard and you told me to be careful.”

Ed fought hard to keep the terror out of his face and voice. “Don’t worry, it’s just some paper. And besides, are you sure it’s gone? Who’d want your briefcase?” 

“I don’t know. Everything was gone.” They stepped out into the street in time to see Hughes pull up and get out of his own car. “Everything. God, I have patients I’m supposed to see in half an hour, and I’m supposed to—“

“Look, there’s Lily. I’ll go get her and we’ll call your patients and work everything out. You go talk to Hughes and start making a list of everything that’s missing.” He grabbed Al by the shoulders and turned him to look him in the eye. “Hey.” He waited until Al’s distracted gaze found his own. “It’s going to be all right. We’ll work it out.”

Al let out a soft sign and straightened just slightly. “Thank you, brother.”

The rest of the morning passed in a blur of phone calls, witness statements and so many trips to the café that eventually, the owner filled a large insulated metal tank and brought it over to them with mugs, sugar and milk.

“The Doctor, he is always so nice to us. He treated my daughter when she was sick from school. Always so nice,” the owner, Asaph, said with a sad frown. “Who would want to hurt the Doctor?”

Ed shook his head. No one would want to hurt Al and with the investigation rolling into the afternoon, it was clear that many of Al’s papers were gone, along with his briefcase. Which meant that the attack wasn’t aimed at Al or his medicine at all. It was an attempt to find out what Ed had given his brother, whether Roy had been talking out of turn. The break-in and theft were nothing but a destructive cover story.

Ed tracked down Hughes, who was overseeing witness statements. “What do you think?”

Hughes shrugged. “It looks like a simple case of breaking and entering and theft. It’s common knowledge in the neighborhood that Al keeps medicine on site and it seems like someone was desperate enough to come after it. I don’t have any witnesses yet, but something will turn up. It always does.”

Ed had to repeatedly remind himself not to start a conversation about government conspiracies and instead focus on the matter at hand. “Why didn’t anyone notice? It’s not like Al’s clinic is in a back alley somewhere.”

“But it is in the middle of a commercial district.” Hughes waved a hand to indicate the street. “No one lives in this area and unless someone was here on business late into the night, there wouldn’t be anyone to report it. That doesn’t mean that someone didn’t see someone moving through other areas of the city that looked shady or that we won’t be able to track the medicine.” He patted Ed’s shoulder. “Try not to worry too much. Go find your brother and get him out of here. I’ll have my people clean up and keep an eye on things until we can get it locked up again.”

“But—“

“Go home.”

Looking past Hughes’ shoulder at the soldiers still swarming through the open door of Al’s clinic, and the small crowd of locals peering in at the mess, Ed knew he would never be able to get inside unnoticed. As desperate as he was to look for himself, to find some crucial clue that everyone else had overlooked, Ed was more intent on keeping suspicion from himself. “You’ll let us know when you find something?”

“Of course. Get Al out of here before he starts trying to clean up again.” Not ten minutes after Hughes had arrived, Al had started scooping up bits of glass from the sidewalk so no one would get hurt and ended up slicing his palms in the process.

Ed found his brother sitting on a bench just down from the front door to his clinic, staring at the stark white bandages on his hands. For a moment, Ed’s need to keep his little brother safe was so strong it overwhelmed him to the point he couldn’t breathe or speak or see. But the moment passed, Al looked up and Ed came to sit next to him on the bench.

“Hey.”

“Oh, hi, brother.”

Ed nudged him with his shoulder. “You ready to get out of here?”

“I can’t. The windows are still missing and General Hughes said he might have more questions and—“

“Hughes just gave me the all clear. There’s nothing more you can do here today. They’re going to take care of the windows and everything and they’ll let you know when they have information or something, okay? Come on. Let me buy you lunch.” Ed wasn’t perceptibly hungry and he doubted Al had any appetite either, but it would give them something to do with their hands. And Ed never missed the chance to see Al eating, not after years of watching him pretend in public to enjoy things he couldn’t taste as a suit of armor.

Ed stood and pulled Al up, careful of his hands, and waved to Hughes to let him know they were going. “We can catch at taxi if we walk down to the corner.”

“The café across the street is really good.”

“Oh, no. It’s bad enough you’ve been staring at this all morning. We’re not going to sit across the street so you can watch it over a bowl of soup.” He held up his arm to hail a taxi, thinking he was not above the use of a little alchemy to get them a ride if someone didn’t stop for them. Now that they’d been given leave to go, Ed found he couldn’t get away fast enough. “I know a place across town that’s really good and it should be quiet this time of day.”

Al looked over his shoulder at the mess of his clinic and didn’t stop until Ed physically put him in the car. “I just don’t understand.” He collapsed against the back of the seat and reached up to run a hand through his hair. A pained look crossed his face as his bandaged hand pressed against his head and he let his hand drop. 

“Hughes said it was pretty common knowledge that you kept medicine in the clinic.”

“Yes, but I’m not the only doctor who does that. If they knew enough to know about the medicine, they would also have known that I give it out, even to the people who can’t pay. It doesn’t make any sense.”

The last thing Ed wanted was Al thinking about the crime. His brother was frighteningly smart and it wouldn’t take much for him to put the pieces together. “Who knows why people do the weird shit they do? It’s because you’re too nice. If you had bars on your windows like the chemists downtown, you wouldn’t have this problem.”

Ed could almost see the ruffle of anger pass through Al’s body. “That’s… brother, that is the single most ignorant thing I’ve ever heard you say and that’s saying a lot. First of all, I’m trying to be part of a community and community members don’t put bars on their windows. Secondly, I am not a chemist. Not that there’s anything wrong with that profession, but I studied really hard to get where I am.” Al continued on his tirade and Ed comfortably tuned him out, making sure to nod in the appropriate places. All he had to do was keep Al distracted through lunch and until he got him home. At home, Riza could be counted on to offer enough of a distraction that hopefully, Al wouldn’t think too hard about anything at all.

*

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get away. I heard about Al’s clinic. Is he all right?” Roy slipped into bed and settled next to Ed. Though Ed had the lights off, he hadn’t been sleeping and Roy seemed always able to tell when Ed was awake.

“He’s as good as can be expected. He’s poured everything into that stupid building and it broke his heart to see it trashed like that.” He shifted closer, wondering if he had to fake an excuse to turn on the lights and get some paper so they could talk. Questions that only Roy could answer had been spinning in his mind all day and he thought he might explode if he had to wait until the morning for the cover of the crossword puzzle to get some answers.

“You’ll get the official letter tomorrow, but I thought I’d give you a little advance warning. You’re being called in for a meeting with the Fuhrer.”

Ed tensed and fought to keep his breathing even. “Is it an order? Am I in trouble?”

“The Fuhrer doesn’t make requests, so I’d say it’s as close to an order as a civilian can get.” Then, surprisingly, Roy laughed. “And no, love. You’re not in trouble. We’re working on a project and we could use your very special skills.”

“I don’t know that I’m really keen on showing off my special skills. That’s really just between you and me.” He gave a slow, shallow thrust of his hips against Roy’s, trying to spark another laugh, and was rewarded.

Roy kissed his temple. “Your other special skills, the alchemic ones.”

“I guess that’s all right, then.” He grinned against the warm flesh of Roy’s neck. “Would you like a demonstration of my special skills?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Because of the many things Roy was not, an exhibitionist was not one of them.

*

Ginger was nervous when he came in to the office the next morning. He and Roy hadn’t had any further chance to speak about what had happened or would happen, but knowing that he was going to be summoned in the morning eased off enough of his worry that he could sleep. And so could Roy.

“You’ve had a call already this morning.”

“Oh?” Ed dropped his papers on his desk and walked back out into the main room.

"From the Fuhrer’s office. You have an appointment at eleven this morning and it seems they expect you to be prompt." She paused, allowing him the opportunity to elaborate, but she was too good at her job to ask. "Your brother called as well and would like you to call him back at your earliest convenience. He also seemed like he would like you to be prompt."

Ed poured himself a mug of coffee from their small pot. "Huh. Busy morning. I’ll be on the phone with Al if you need me." Closing the door behind him, Ed let out a long sigh, hoping that Ginger would be safe in all of this. He’d hate to have to fire her to keep her safe since it had taken him damn near ten years to find a secretary he could work with and who could work with him.

Al answered his phone on the first ring. "Brother. Imagine my surprise at winning an all expenses paid vacation for two to the sandy shores of Crete. Particularly considering that I never entered into a contest and the handwriting on the form looks suspiciously like General Hughes’. What are you doing?"

Silently cursing Hughes’ inept hand, Ed kept his voice even and innocent. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"Oh, yes, you do. Your voice always lilts like that at the end when you’re lying. You’re a terrible liar, brother. What have you done?"

"It does not, and I haven’t done anything. You’ve always been the lucky one; maybe it was a random drawing for overworked and underpaid doctors. I don’t know." He shrugged even though Al couldn’t see him and started doodling on his desk calendar. 

Al scoffed. “Well anyway, I’m not going to go. Not now with the clinic destroyed and all of my patients who need me.”

Patience. He had to be patient and not reactionary. “If you think like that, you’ll never take a vacation, let alone a free one. Your patients will always need someone, but you need a little time away. It’ll be good for you and then in turn, good for them. You’ll come back more rested, focused and less likely to miss something.”

“Are you saying I’m a bad doctor?”

“God, Al. I’m saying that you should just take the fucking vacation and enjoy yourself.” So much for patience. “Okay?”

“Brother—“

“No, just listen. This will be good for you, for your patients, for everyone. Just go.”

“I’ll think about it.” Which was Al-speak for he would do it but didn’t want to admit it over the phone. “What are your plans for the day? It’s just that I’m a little bit at loose ends with the clinic closed and my patients all farmed out to other doctors. I could come help you with your, you know, whatever it is that you do.”

Ed smiled. “That’d be great, but I have an appointment this afternoon and I don’t know how long I’ll be out. You should just stay home and relax. You remember how to do that, don’t you?”

“Well,” Al hesitated. “There were some articles I wanted to catch up on reading and a couple things around the house that we keep putting off. Maybe I could do that?”

“That sounds like a plan.” As much as Ed could bitch until the end of time about how lazy Roy could be, it had actually been really good for him to be around someone who could take pleasure in not getting out of bed until noon. Of the many things Roy had done for him, showing him how to relax, how to take the quiet moments when they came, had been the best. It was a long lesson, and one that Ed sometimes needed refresher courses on, but he’d finally gotten to the place where he didn’t slowly lose his mind on a quiet Sunday. 

Riza Hawkeye, however, had not been the same soothing influence on his brother. She was as high strung as Al, and he imagined that if they put their minds to it, they could be running the country and it would have taken them a lot less time. “You do that and I’ll call you later to see how the relaxing is going. Feel free to write up a report if it makes you feel better.” Ed hung up the phone to the sound of his brother’s shouted protests.

To keep himself busy, Ed spent the morning reconstructing his article for _Popular Alchemy_. It was easier to write the second time around because he could edit himself as he went along. He took Al’s suggestions of limited swearing, but kept the paragraph in the middle about Russell. Everyone should know Russell fucking Tringham was an asshole who shouldn’t be teaching children. He was just about finished with his second first draft when Ginger tapped on his door and poked her head around the corner. “It would be best if you left now, I think. You don’t want to keep the Fuhrer waiting.”

Ed picked up his notepad and stood. “We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

Ginger hovered as Ed finished collecting his things and headed for the door. He could see her out of the corner of his eye _wanting_ to ask but not being able to bring herself to do it. 

“If the meeting runs long and I’m not back by four, go ahead and close up and I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled. “Don’t worry. Everything is fine.”

Ginger made a small, disapproving hum and she frowned, but she did sit back down before he left and pulled out a copy of the morning’s crossword puzzle. She made a show of reading the first clue and filling in the blocks, but even from the door, Ed could see it was nonsense and she was just filling time until he closed the door behind him.

Outside, Ed had been planning to hail a taxi to take him the Headquarters, but instead found a car waiting for him. A plainclothes soldier was leaning against the side of the car and nodded when Ed approached. “If you’re all set, Mr. Elric, I’ll be your driver.”

“Thank you.” Inside the car, his driver was silent, not even offering his name or the courtesy of mindless conversation about the weather. Ed was half tempted to begin his own conversation, but found not only did he have nothing to say, but he wasn’t interested in coming up with something. The silence was fine.

“Your destination, sir,” his driver said as they pulled up in front of Headquarters. 

Ed mumbled this thanks and headed inside where he found the corridors strangely quiet for the late morning and not a hint of a familiar face. At the Fuhrer’s office, his secretary waved Ed in without pause and he found the man himself seated behind his desk as if he’d been waiting for Ed all day.

"The Fullmetal Alchemist." Fuhrer Casspir tried his best to be intimidating and harsh, but as his predecessor had been an inhuman homunculus that had done its best to kill Ed, so it was less effective than he hoped.

"Fuhrer," he nodded, deciding not to take exception to the name, even though he’d carried it only an eighth of his life now. "I hope I didn’t keep you waiting."

"Not at all, you’re right on time." Casspir stood and walked around from behind his desk at a slow, stalking pace. "You come highly recommended. Several of my generals have contracted with you over the years and your results have been, well, I must say they’ve been exemplary."

"I was a State Alchemist long enough to know how to handle myself, if that’s what you mean." It was mildly unnerving that he was having his meeting with only the Fuhrer. Ed hadn’t really expected Roy to be in the room, but he thought some of the other generals might have been.

"And how to keep certain privileged information to yourself."

Even though it had been years since the fallout of the homunculus and the Philosopher’s Stone, Ed still had a flash of panic that Casspir was about to bring up their first round of treason. That he was going to use it as leverage against Ed to keep Roy and Al and practically everyone else Ed knew safe. "I learned discretion at an early age," he said carefully.

"That business with the Hyperion Alchemist was particularly nasty and had the media caught wind of it, well," he shrugged and leaned comfortably against the edge of his desk, crossing his arms over his chest. "This might be a very different conversation. You’ve proven your skill, you’ve proven your loyalty, but the project I’d like to bring you in on goes so far beyond anything you’ve worked on that I need something else from you." Without looking, Casspir reached behind him and pulled a simple manila envelope from his desk and handed it to Ed. He was almost afraid to cross the three steps to take it.

Inside, he found his pages of notes and the first draft of his article. His grip was so tight on the paper that he tore a hole through the center. "How did you get this?" 

"I should think that would be perfectly obvious to a man of your intellect. I am the Fuhrer. There is nothing beyond my reach within the borders of Amestris and very little I can’t have beyond it. I will have your collaboration, I will have your skill, and I will have your silence. In return, you can rest easy that your family is safe and your friends are left alone." He nodded to the folder.

Ed flipped past his draft and found at the end photographs capturing the happy, mundane lives of people as close as the Hughes family and as far away as Winry. "And if I say no?"

"I’m afraid that isn’t an option, Mr. Elric. You will help us on this initiative, for the good of the people of Amestris. Your Fuhrer calls you to service."

The words sent a chill down Ed’s spine. He was not one to be moved by speeches, he’d heard too much bullshit in his life, but he knew how easily others would be pulled in by Casspir’s words. He swallowed past the dryness in his mouth. “I serve at the pleasure of the Fuhrer.” 

Casspir nodded as if it were expected, a forgone conclusion. “This way, Fullmetal. There’s work to be done.” He walked around his desk to a plain door in the back of the room where Ed found Roy and the other generals waiting. They stood as the Fuhrer entered the room and didn’t retake their seats until he’d settled at the head of the table.

Ed was careful to do nothing more than make eye contact with Roy, to show no sign of favoritism. It was an elite group, the Fuher’s inner circle, and Ed had to be very, very careful not to fuck everything up so late in the game. They were so close now, but Ed hadn’t expected it to feel so fucking terrifying.

“General Viers, please acquaint Fullmetal with our progress.”

Viers began spreading out notes, drawings and preliminary arrays across the table and Ed didn’t bother to sit. In the background, Viers explained how they were developing a weapon for the protection of the Amestris people, something so powerful no country would dare come against them, but Ed was only half listening. Instead, he was overwhelmed with the alchemy on the table. It was beautiful and terrible. It made Ed want to throw up.

He could already see the errors in their arrays. He could see Roy’s signature in the work and could see where he’d intentionally flawed the lines to keep it from functioning at its full potential. A few adjustments to the array and someone powerful enough to activate it and it would be up and running. Fortunately, it wasn’t the only component to the weapon.

“Fullmetal?”

Ed looked up, realizing they’d called his name more than once. “This is…impressive.”

“Can you make it work?” the Fuhrer asked.

Ed nodded, steeling himself for the performance of his life. “I should be able to make the array work, but this part,” he stabbed a finger at the two pages of calculations in tiny print. “I only know a little bit about theoretical physics. I can make it work, but it’s going to take some time.”

“How much time?”

Ed looked back at the array, fascinated despite himself. “Two weeks, maybe three. I’ll have to have access to Central Library, and there might be things I’ll need from various libraries and researchers from around the country.”

“Make it work in two weeks and you can have access to whatever you want.” Casspir stood. “These papers don’t leave this room and all tests must be conducted at the test point. General Mustang can show you where it is when the time comes.”

“We’ll need daily progress reports and anything you develop is purely the ownership of the Amestris Government.” Viers slid a piece paper across the table. “You’ll have to sign this.”

“Don’t you think what you already have is enough?” he snarled before he could stop himself. Signing a document was dangerous; paperwork meant paper trails and the possibility of someone finding out after everything was over.

“It’s important to have all of our bases covered,” Roy, Roy of all people, said with a nod at the paper. “No one works on the project without signing a confidentiality clause.”

“One of General Mustang’s more innovative rules.” His approval of the idea and Roy in general was clear in Casspir’s voice. “Your signature is just a formality, Fullmetal. Sign and you can get to work.”

Ed scrawled his name across the page, nearly hard enough to dig through the paper, feeling like he was signing his own death warrant. “I need some paper,” he looked around the room at the generals watching his every move. “And some quiet. I can’t work with you staring at me.”

“Understandable. Feel free to use the room as long as you’d like. Gentlemen, we have a government to run.” 

Ed couldn’t relax until they were gone, and even then he still felt as though he had a target painted on him. He took off his suit coat, rolled up his sleeves and started organizing the research, trying to figure out a way to make a day and a half’s worth of work stretch out convincingly into two weeks. 

*

“It’s almost midnight.”

Ed looked up, blinking until Roy’s face was in focus. He wished he’d had the forethought to bring his glasses, because as much as he’d rather kill someone than admit it, he really needed them to read. “What?”

“It’s midnight. Everyone else has gone home; I thought you might like to also.”

“No, it’s not.” Ed checked his watch and was stunned to see Roy was right. He vaguely remembered someone, possibly even Roy, bringing him lunch and then dinner, but the two plates were mostly untouched at the corner of the table. His shoulders were sore from being hunched over the research all day and his ass had gone numb hours ago.

“Yes, it is. Come on, it’s time to go.” Roy swept up the papers, original research and Ed’s new notes in the same pile and stuffed them into the folder. “You have plenty of time to work on this tomorrow.”

Ed yawned, tired suddenly, and hungry. “I need to go to Central Library tomorrow.”

“They’ll let you through. The staff knows you have special dispensation.” Roy’s fingers twitched and Ed could tell he was just barely containing the urge to run his hands through Ed’s hair. It made him smile. “Al called my office today looking for you. You should really let him know when you’re going to be out of touch for a while. I thought for a second he was going to come storm the building to find you. He made me promise to tell you to call him when you get home, no matter what time it is.”

With a groan, Ed swiped a half eaten sandwich from the plate before following Roy from the room. Two guards were waiting outside to close the door after them and, presumably, keep anyone else from entering. “He probably talked to Ginger and she freaked him out.”

Roy quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Well, it’s not every day I get a call from the Fuhrer’s office, now is it? They’ll be fine. Al’s probably sleeping; I’ll call him in the morning.”

“You’ll call him when we get in. I have no desire to be woken in the middle of the night by your brother breaking through our front door to get to you. I’ll be surprised if he’s not waiting on the front step when we get in.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Al wouldn’t do that. He has a key.” 

Roy grabbed his shoulders, gently, and pushed him towards the exit and down the long stairs where there was a car waiting. Ed stopped Roy before he could open the door for him and got in under his own power. Not that he didn’t mind a little coddling, but he wasn’t a fucking girl. Roy grinned the whole way home.

When they arrived at the house, kitchen lights blazing with Al sitting at their table looking worried and drawn, it all seemed a little less funny. 

“Where the hell have you been, brother? I’ve been trying to get in touch with you all day.” Roy, the rat, slunk upstairs and left Ed stranded amidst Al’s anger. “What if something had been wrong?”

“Was there?”

“No, but that’s not the point and you know it. Where have you been? When I called your office Ginger sounded so upset I thought someone had kidnapped you, and all Roy would say was that he would have you call me. It’s after midnight. What have you been doing all day?”

“Sorry, it’s classified.” Ed pulled two mugs from the cabinet and put the kettle on to heat. “How long have you been sitting here by yourself?” Clearly Al needed his clinic to keep him occupied. And not crazy.

Al’s hands were clenched and there was a vertical line down the center of his forehead, denoting his readiness to push the issue into a full-out fight if need be. “Brother, I don’t want to be pacified with your tea and your, your, whatever else it is you’re going to try and pacify me with. So just tell me what’s going on and how I can help you.”

“Chamomile for you, then. You are too stressed out for anything stronger.” Ed dumped the leaves into the pot and when the kettle didn’t heat fast enough, he clapped and pressed his hands to the side for instant boiling water. It was a little on the flashy side, but the faster he got Al out the door, the better chance he had in not spilling his guts to his brother and getting them both killed.

“Don’t try and distract me with tea and alchemy. You’re up to something and you get yourself into trouble when you’re up to things. It’s my job—“

“Al, please.” Ed set the mug in front of his brother.”

But Al would not be moved. “It is my job, Edward, to keep you out of trouble and keep you from making bad decisions.”

Ed used the cover of sipping his tea to avoid looking like he was hesitating. Every word Al spoke was the truth and it had never been harder to keep a secret from Al. He took another sip and imagined the prison cell that they would all end up in if Ed breathed a word of this. The prison cell followed very shortly by the execution squad. “You worry too much. Is this what you’d be like on vacation? No wonder you and Riza have never gone. Have you heard anything about your clinic?”

Al rolled his eyes to show that he was not impressed with Ed’s attempt to dissuade the conversation. “Hughes says nothing that was taken has started showing up on the market, and that it might not ever. If it’s a ring of criminals, they could be breaking into places and then transporting the goods to different cities. He’s got people looking, but it’s only been a day. My insurance is going to cover the damages and some of my suppliers have already said they’re replace what was taken at a reduced rate, which is really good news.”

Ed sipped his tea, missing the taste of coffee with every mouthful and thought of the best way to approach his next question. Al could get really defensive sometimes. “Do you need any help?”

“We’re not destitute, you know.”

“I didn’t say you were. I just know how expensive it is to run that clinic and you don’t bother to charge something like half your patients.”

“They pay what they can. I’m not going to turn someone away who needs help because they can’t pay me. I learned that from you, brother, if you’ll remember.”

Ed shrugged because while it was true, he could also wish things were a little easier for his one and only brother. “I’m just saying that you could be making twice as much at Central Hospital.”

“And doing half the good. We’re fine and I don’t need your help. I would tell you if I did.” Al finished his tea like he was knocking back a shot. “Are you sure you don’t need mine?”

One of the hardest things Ed ever did in his life was look his brother dead in the eye and smile. “You worry too much. You need something to occupy you. Maybe you should have kids.”

Al stood and Ed followed suit. “Fine. Don’t tell me, but you’re not fooling me for a second.” The anger faded from his face and he pulled Ed into a tight hug. “If you need me, I’ll be right here. Just don’t wait until it’s too late, okay?”

Ed nodded into Al’s shoulder. “I promise,” he said and then pushed Al away. “Now go home. It’s way too late for good boys to be out of bed.”

The smile he was hoping for bloomed on Al’s face. “You’re one to talk.”

“I never said I was good. Go on, now. We’ll talk tomorrow and you can scold me some more.”

“All right. Good night, brother.”

“Night, Al. And, thanks.”

Al shook his head as he walked down the steps and raised his hand in farewell. Ed watched him until he was out of sight and the man across the street, leaning against the lamp post found a reason to go back inside a house that had been empty for almost two months.

Ed made quick work of closing up and locking down the house before heading upstairs to Roy.

“Coward.”

Roy put down the book he was reading and raised an eyebrow in Ed’s general direction. “How’s Al?” 

It was totally unfair how easily Ed could be moved by Roy’s sexy eyebrows and further unfair how willing Roy was to use that weakness. “Fine. He’s suspicious, but I went with total denial so he had nothing to work with.” Ed made sure the curtains were closed tight and then mouthed to Roy, “We’re still being watched.”

Roy nodded like he expected that to be the case. “That’s good,” he said aloud. “Come on and try and get some sleep. I’ll drop you off at the First Branch in the morning, all right?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Ed paused before turning off the light and mouthed to Roy, “How are we ever going to plan this if they’re still watching us?”

“We’ll figure it out. Come to bed, I’ve missed you all day.”

*


	3. Chapter 3

“Can we pull any books for you, Mr. Elric?”

Ed waved away the librarian sitting behind the desk. He didn’t know whether or not she was working as a spy for the Fuhrer, if she was trying to be helpful, or if she was hoping to get information to sell to the highest bidder as to why an non-State Alchemist had been allowed special access to the most revered library in the country, but Ed liked to believe she was all three. “I’m good thanks.”

Thanks to a lifetime of study, Ed knew his way around a library, even an unfamiliar one. Given the chance to rebuild the First Branch, the architects of the new building had outdone themselves in creating a work of art to house the most important alchemical books in the country. Had his reason for being there not been so dire, Ed might have taken the time to admire their efforts and the finished effect, but he had work to do and not a lot of time to get it done in.

He headed first to the harder sciences section, pulling books on advanced theoretical physics, a refresher book on thermodynamics, some higher level math books before heading to the third floor poetry section. While Ed himself had no love of poetry, he found it frustrating and useless, the poetry sections of libraries were almost always deserted and quiet—the perfect place to work.

Since he already knew how to make the weapon work alchemically, he needed to research what it would take to make the weapon work with the strange amalgamation of alchemy and physics. He’d often thought when he was on the other side of the Gate that their world would be a much better place if only alchemy worked there. If they could somehow harness the ability to use both alchemy and physics, they would be able to do such brilliant things for their people.

He should have known better. 

Ed made a point of not talking about his time on the other side much, even to people he loved. He supposed it was inevitable, though, that someone would start thinking about the other side and what had come through. That someone would start to work out the differences and similarities of the two worlds. He could even be a little surprised that it had taken so long to come to something.

It seemed counter-intuitive to try and find a way to make the weapon viable before working on a way to stop it, but that was the way Ed’s mind processed the problem. He needed to know everything about the device, every detail, before he could break it down and keep it from ever, ever coming to fruition. Not only for now, but he needed to know what to look out for in the future. To sleep at night once this was over, he had to be sure that if he saw a piece of the puzzle, a single arc in the array or the barest fragment of a calculation, he would recognize it for what it was and shut the whole thing down all over again. This was too much power for any one person or country to have and he didn’t want it in his world.

He supposed it was a two-fold form of madness. His obsessive need to know everything and his determination that he alone would be able to prevent academic discovery. But he had to try; what good was he if after everything he let his world slide into darkness because he wasn’t good enough, fast enough or determined enough to stop it?

Al would have understood. Al would have helped. But he’d dragged Al one too many times into his obsessive madness and this was one time that he didn’t want the darkness to touch his brother. Al was better off not knowing something like this had ever been conceived, let alone close to completion.

“How’s business, chief?”

Ed jumped in his seat and threw a book at Hughes. “God damnit, Hughes. Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

Hughes didn’t even have the good grace not to laugh at his as he sat across from him and set the projectile book on the table. “I didn’t think I was sneaking, necessarily.”

“Clear your throat next time. What are you doing here, anyway?” Ed considered covering his notes and closing up the books he was using, but then figured Hughes wouldn’t know what he was looking at anyway. Secrets, military intelligence, photography, and wicked aim with his tiny, deadly knives, those were his areas of expertise, not alchemy.

“Well, a non-State Alchemist given special permission to use the First Branch Library from the Fuhrer’s office, that’s big news, isn’t it?” He shrugged. “And I was in the area.”

“How did you even get in here?”

“We baby-sit a couple of the guard’s kids on weekends. It’s never a bad thing to have extra connections, Ed.”

Ed rolled his eyes and went back to reading. “Did you need something?”

“Not really. Just thought I’d stop in and say hello. And offer you a bit of advice. Whatever it is that you’re involved in—and believe me, I don’t want to know—be careful. Casspir is a serious kind of guy with serious ambitions and just, watch yourself, all right?”

It was certainly nice to know that there were people in his life that cared about him, but the sudden influx of well wishers and doomsayers was getting a little old. “I’ll be careful. It’s just a little research.”

Hughes stood and held up his hands. “Like I said, I don’t want to know. Gracia said to remind you that we have dinner every night at six and there is always plenty extra. If you two are too tired to cook for yourselves, or whatever, stop by.”

“Thanks.” He smiled. “Hey, will you do me a favor? Warn off the rest of the fan club from their cautionary visits? I’m busy.”

“Will do.”

By the end of the day, Ed had a pretty good idea of what he would need to do to make the weapon viable. The array was easy enough and he’d been able to figure out the math of the calculations and draw up a rough idea of what would be needed to house and deliver the bomb. He could have happily stayed all night in the Library fine tuning the concept, but after the third librarian had walked through with polite throat clearing and offers of, “Is there anything else we can help you find?” and meaningless shuffling of chairs closer to tables, Ed though he should be kind and leave. 

He re-shelved his books, thanked the staff and was not at all surprised to see Havoc leaning against the side of an unmarked car, cigarette dangling from his lip and lazy, bored air surrounding him like the smoke haze from his addiction. He jerked his chin in a nod as Ed approached, took a drag and flicked the ashes on the sidewalk. “The General said you’d be needing a ride.”

“Aren’t you a little high ranking to be a driver?”

Havoc shrugged and opened the driver’s door. “I don’t argue when the General tells me to do something. It’s kept me alive this long, can’t be a bad practice. Where am I taking you?”

The thought of going back to Headquarters to use the Fuhrer’s private office made Ed’s skin crawl. He needed time to think and plan without worrying about who might be looking over his shoulder. They might be watching him from afar, and they might be listening to him, and he didn’t need the thought that they were in the room with him as well. He was also not exactly eager to bring this project to his office. He’d rather not expose Ginger to the dangers of his treachery.

“Home, please.”

“Mustang said he’ll be late.”

“Okay.”

Havoc met his gaze in the rearview mirror. “All I’m saying is do you really want to go home to an empty house? I’m meeting up with Breda and Fuery at Jubilee’s in half an hour and you could come out with us if you wanted.”

Ed couldn’t clearly remember what had happened the last time he’d gone out with the three of them. He knew it involved more alcohol than he’d ever had in his entire life, some sort of altercation that left him with bloody knuckles and a black eye and a formal letter asking him to never return to that particular establishment. The drunken sex with Roy had been pretty fantastic, though.

“Thanks, but no. I’ve still got some work to do.”

Havoc nodded and they finished the rest of the ride in silence. At the top of the driveway, Havoc pulled the car to a stop. “Call me if change your mind. Or anything.”

Ed almost laughed, but Havoc’s offer was just as sincere as Al’s and Hughes’ had been, just delivered in a very Havoc way. “Thanks, I will.”

Once in the house, Ed dumped his papers on the kitchen table and went up to their bedroom. Across from their bed stood two metal safes. One held Roy’s weapons—guns for service and those he’d collected in the line of duty over the years. It was one of the hardest things for Ed to come to terms with when they first started living together. It wasn’t that he minded guns so much, it was that there was a whole safe of them ten feet from the foot of the bed. Sometimes he would wake up in the middle of the night and the light glinting off the aptly named gunmetal gray safe would remind him of the fragility of _every_ aspect of their lives. Al suggested covering it with some kind of cloth, but somehow a giant doily didn’t seem to cut it.

Next to Roy’s safe was Ed’s. Not for guns, but for a far more dangerous collection of items. So dangerous Ed was the only one with the combination—he hadn’t felt comfortable giving it to Roy or Al and he doubted he ever would. Inside, he kept the research of every dirty, mad and evil alchemist he’d ever tracked down for the State. 

His official story was that he always destroyed the research as soon as he found it so that it wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands, including the State. In reality, he kept them in a safe in his house, piles and piles of pages the rambling of madmen. Human transmutation, chimera work, alchemical array weapons, arrays to gain eternal life by draining it from young victims, arrays to alter a person’s mind and personality. Ed spun the combination to the lock and then activated the array he’d created to add a special layer of protection the safe and pulled out the research of the Wellspring Alchemist.

Gabriel Hunting had begun his research with lofty aims and admirable goals. His father was a psychiatrist and he’d spent his childhood watching his father work with patients with sever disorders. In the beginning, all he’d wanted to do was help. But as his research progressed, he discovered many of the patients he worked with didn’t want their basic personality changed by an array, they didn’t want to forget who they were and start again with a clean slate. Hunting had used unwilling patients to perfect the method of wiping clean a person’s individuality and filling it back up with something more...desirable. 

Once he was discovered, Hunting went on the run leaving a wake of smiling, happy, empty drones in his wake. It took Ed almost three weeks to finally track him down and he didn’t go down easy. The research made him feel dirty to look at it; even touching the arrays made him wince and the thought of actually using something like this on another living person was so distasteful Ed hadn’t eaten for almost three days. But he couldn’t make himself throw it away. He’d tucked it in the safe that Roy had taken to calling his Cabinet of Alchemical Curiosities and forgotten about it.

Ed had never made a promise to himself or anyone else not to use what he’d collected. As a rule, he didn’t like to think about the strange collection at all. But he kept it because, he supposed, part of him always knew that he might need something within. The Fuhrer’s weapon was too awful to unleash on the world and the men who thought this was not only necessary but good didn’t deserve to be in power.

With a deep breath and a silent apology, he took the papers from the safe and headed down to the study. The bedroom felt safer from the eyes of whoever might be watching, but he couldn’t conscience working on something so destructive and dark in their bedroom. 

Once settled, with the blinds closed tight and a mug of untouched coffee at his side, Ed spread the diagrams and notes across the desk. The idea was simple, the arrays complex, and the effect was stunning. Ed didn’t take notes; he didn’t have to.

The problem was that the Wellspring Alchemist had been intent on wiping the minds of his victims entirely and then implanting them with something altogether new. For what they needed—or for what Ed assumed they were going to need, as he and Roy hadn’t been able to speak about the nuts and bolts of their coup—Ed was going to have to adjust the minds of several people at once, but subtly and carefully. Ed didn’t like their chances of coming away unscathed if everyone walked out of the room unable to remember their own names. 

This type of Alchemy had never been his strongest area of study. Somebody wanted a bridge? Done. Some bad guy needed a punch in the face with a giant fist made from granite? No problem. Metal, stone, and earth elements came easiest to him. He could do the other stuff, but it wasn’t as instinctual; it wasn’t second nature. Al would be better at this kind of thing with his years of practice working with the human body. Since Ed was doing his level best to keep Al out of all of this, he was going to have to figure it out on his own.

Unless Roy wanted to scrap the plan and burn the place to the ground.

When Roy finally made it home, Ed’s shoulders were stiff from sitting hunched in the same position for hours and his eyes were burning with exhaustion, but he thought he had a basic idea of what he needed to do. What they needed to do.

Roy collapsed next to Ed on the couch and covered his eyes with one hand.

“Should I not ask about your day?”

Roy laughed, though it was dry and raspy, as though he’d forgotten how and was just relearning. “The Resonance Alchemist is on a different assignment tonight; we’re only being monitored visually. We can talk.”

“Thank god. What were you thinking making everyone sign a stupid piece of paper for the project? Isn’t threatening everyone I care about enough?” Two days, two fucking days, Ed had been waiting to ask the unaskable question. He couldn’t imagine what answer Roy might have that would be good enough to appease him.

Roy dropped his hand, a small smile gracing his lips. “It’s one of my most genius plans, actually. Everyone involved in the project, from the surveillance team all the way up to the Fuhrer, and we have a record of every single one of them. Every single person who’s had any input on this project is in a little file so that when we need to do some clean up, we know exactly who we need to find, where to find them and how much they potentially know.”

“That’s…” Ed grunted. “That’s really clever.”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised. I didn’t get this far by being an idiot.”

Five years ago, hell, a month ago, Ed would have pushed and poked at Roy, calling his intelligence and manipulation into question. But the air in the house was already fraught and if nothing else their current circumstances spoke more clearly about Roy’s abilities and commitment. “I know.” He handed his notes over to Roy. “This is what I’ve been thinking will get us out of this without killing anyone.”

Roy was silent for a long time, long after he’d stopped shuffling the papers. The quiet stretched so long Ed was nervous that he’d stepped too far even for Roy’s ambition. “You think you could make something like this work?”

“With a little practice, yeah, I can do it.”

Roy blew out a half-breath laugh and kissed him hard. “I’m so glad you’re on my side.” He nipped at Ed’s lip and sucked on his tongue hard enough that it almost hurt. “So, how do we do this?”

“Here’s what I was thinking, and you’ve made it easier with your little list. We get everyone together for the inaugural test of the Fuhrer’s weapon. The testing grounds or wherever you were supposed to show me when I was ready to start on field test. I go out a couple times and start setting up the lines for this because it’s going to take a lot of power and I’m going to need all the help I can get. Then, when everyone is in place, instead of a test, we wipe their minds that this thing ever existed and implant instead that there was some, I don’t know, murder plot or something so traumatic that the Fuhrer has decided to retire and leave the man who saved his life in charge. What do you think?”

“But why would the Fuhrer want the surveillance team and the field runners at the test?”

Ed rolled his eyes and stood, tossing all of his notes in the fire. “I don’t know. I can’t think of everything, smart guy. You’re going to have to help a little bit. We’ve got a little less than two weeks; I’m sure you can come up with something.” He held out a hand and pulled Roy to his feet. He looked tired and worn. The gray at his temples was more prominent than it had been a year ago, and the lines at the corners of his eyes that Roy swore weren’t there were beginning to show. Still, he was hands-down the sexiest thing Ed had ever seen. “Come on, you can work on taking over the world tomorrow. And stop sending your people to look after me. They’re going to get suspicious.”

“They’re already suspicious. Indulge them in a little worry; it’s the only thing they can do right now, and it makes them feel better.” He wrapped his arms around Ed and pulled him in tight until he’d squeezed out all the air from Ed’s lungs, the pressure straining Ed’s ribs. “Two weeks.”

Ed swallowed and pressed his face against Roy’s throat, the steady, rhythmic pound of his pulse like a beacon against Ed’s cheek. “Two weeks.”

**

Two weeks turned out to be harder than Ed ever expected. As soon as the Fuhrer heard that Ed had been out to the test site, he demanded to see what progress had been made. Ed wrote up notes and diagrams for him, even though he knew damn well Casspir had no idea what he was looking at. Still, the Fuhrer made a point to nod in all the right places and hum in understanding like the lines on the page meant something to him.

Ed was forced to move up the deadline from two weeks to a week.

Their mantra, for when Ed and Roy managed to find a few seconds alone together, became ‘We’ll be ready.” Sometimes Ed believed the words, and sometimes when he said them, they were the closest Ed had ever come to utter a prayer in his entire life. If they failed, it wasn’t just a failed coup, it would destroy their lives and they’d likely be killed. Ed’s knowledge wouldn’t be enough to save him because the research was advanced enough that Casspir would be able to find another alchemist to finish the project.

They had to be ready. Their lives and the lives of their loved ones depended on it. Ed didn’t imagine for a second that anyone they cared about would be spared if the plan didn’t work.

**

“Viers wants to send invitations.”

Ed nodded, not really listening to Roy’s long, winding recount of his day. When the words finally sank in, he looked up and squinted at Roy. “What?”

“Viers thinks that we should have sent invitations. He seems to think they could become collector’s items.”

“Does that man have any idea what ‘state secret’ actually means? I hope he got laughed out of the room.” When Roy didn’t relate that particular part of the story, Ed gripped his pencil so hard it snapped in his hand. “Should I keep an eye out for the mail carrier?”

“No, but it was a serious topic of conversation for almost an hour. The Fuhrer liked the idea.”

“How the fuck did these people ever get anywhere near power? How did you manage to persuade them that using the public postal service might be a bad idea?”

“We were all going to get commemorative pins, but since the Test is tomorrow, no one thought we could have them done in time. Instead, the Fuhrer has agreed to host a state dinner in our honor a week from the Test date where we’ll receive medals instead. Military men love medals.” 

Ed reached out and idly stroked his metal thumb across Roy’s bottom lip. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Roy hummed and closed his eyes. “Yeah, it’s part of the training program. Yes, sir; no, sir; don’t question orders; work for medals.” 

“I must have skipped that bit.” Ed pulled his hand back and resumed writing. “Have they sent off the invitations for the dinner yet?”

“The Fuhrer wanted to hedge his bets.” Roy looked vaguely disappointed as he watched Ed’s retreating hand with careful attention. “As long as the Test goes smoothly, they’ll work on the invitations to dinner.”

“Nice to know they have faith in my abilities.”

“Caution is not a character flaw.”

“If you say so.” The Resonance Alchemist was on their detail that night, and thinking about every word he said was starting to wear on Ed’s very last shred of patience. Tomorrow was the day, and for better or worse it would all be over soon enough.

Ed had been over his notes a million times; he’d read and reread the Wellspring Alchemist until he could recite them verbatim. His theory was sound, but he’d never been able to actually test his alchemy. That was a problem, as there had been another time in his life when he’d been sure of his theory and the outcome had been somewhat less positive than he’d desired. Ed wasn’t entirely sure, but it seemed like a person would only walk away from such a phenomenal fuck up once in a lifetime. 

He put the last touches on the small array he’d been working on all evening and handed it to Roy, pressing it into his palm as though he could imprint the array into his flesh. “Never let this go,” he mouthed, holding Roy’s eyes as tightly as his hand. 

It was the only thing that would keep them safe once the array activated. If they didn’t want to end up as mindless as the rest of the audience, they had to keep the arrays on them through the duration of the activation. They then had a five minute window to implant their cover story and call for backup before it started arriving on its own. Ed had a feeling the light from this array would be visible in the city, and the military would descend on them in no time to check it out.

Roy nodded and tucked it inside the glove to his left hand. Ed waited long enough to convince himself it was there before he began work on the one that would keep him safe. Since he was going to be at the center of the array and the one drawing the power to it, his would be slightly more intricate than the one for Roy. Luckily, he had all night and no desire to sleep.

**

“If you have any more of that, I think you’re going to give yourself a heart attack.” Roy plucked the coffee pot from Ed’s hands and put it back on the counter.

“No one’s ever died from an overdose of coffee.” Maybe his hands were shaking just a little, but he liked to think it was due to the impending day and less the rivers of caffeine rushing through his system.

“Care to bet on that? Al thinks you should limit your coffee for a reason.”

Ed frowned and tucked his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for his cup. “Al worries too much.”

“Sure you don’t want to eat anything before we go?” If Roy thought that he might tempt Ed into eating by shoving the last half of piece of toast slathered in peanut butter in his mouth and asking around the ensuing mess, he was sadly mistaken. 

“No, thanks.”

Roy grinned and licked a stray smudge of peanut butter off his finger. “Should I stand next to you in case you swoon from lack of food and a caffeine high?”

His irritation at Roy’s playful remark was so sudden, Ed couldn’t contain himself. “Who are you calling so short he’d swoons like a girl?” 

“That…doesn’t even make sense. Are you sure you’re feeling all right?” Roy stepped closer, all lightness gone from his tone.

“Yeah.” Ed closed his eyes and took in a long breath. “I’m just a little tired.”

“This is a big day.” Roy cupped his face, his long fingers tucking right up behind Ed’s ears and along his neck, supporting him and examining him. “If something goes wrong because you didn’t want to eat breakfast or because you’re too tired to make the array activate properly, I need to know now.”

From anyone else, it would have been patronizing. From Roy, who had just as much riding on today as Ed, it was honest concern. He kept his eyes closed and took stock of himself. “I could use a little more sleep, and you’ll owe me lunch when we’re done, but I’m fine.” He opened his eyes and locked on Roy. “I’m fine. Are you ready for this?”

Roy’s fingers tightened the barest fraction and he nodded. “I’m ready.”

Out in the street, there was a shiny black car waiting for them and Ed had a moment’s regret that he hadn’t called Al that morning. Sometime during the night, the Resonance Alchemist had left their detail, but Ed didn’t want to take any chances by using an unsecured line or making a call that was out of the ordinary.

Instead of making a call, Ed instead devised an array he could activate should their plans go awry. It only needed his touch to start off a chain of arrays that led to Al with a message telling him to run. With any luck and justice in the universe, it might buy Al enough time to get Riza and get out of the city to find some of their allies. Ed didn’t like the thought of leaving so much to chance, so he focused all his will on making sure their plan worked.

He used the quiet of the car ride to center himself, to run through each step of the plan in his mind and each step of alchemy he had to perform to get them out of the Test alive. Beside him, Roy was silent, though Ed doubted he was running through his part in their treason. He didn’t know why, but he found it comforting to imagine Roy daydreaming about being Fuhrer. Ages ago, Roy had promised Havoc a miniskirt army and Ed was eased to think Roy might be writing up the order as the miles passed them by.

The test site was twenty miles outside the city limits, which was close enough to make working research easy but far enough away not to destroy the city should something untoward happen. Ed smiled grimly at the thought. That was the inherent problem with the Fuhrer’s plan. If something did go wrong with his weapon, it could potentially take out all of Amestris, not just the farmland surrounding the capitol. 

Casspir didn’t understand the power of his weapon, just what it would give him on a global scale. To really research something of this magnitude, Ed would have created a small research facility miles away from any populated place, have the tests there and then come back with a working weapon. Testing near Central was insane.

Sooner than he expected, the car rolled to a stop at the barn set aside for testing. The abandoned farm was eerily quiet as they stepped from the car and only fresh tire tracks let them know that some of the others had already arrived.

“Sir?”

Roy turned to the lieutenant in the driver’s seat.

“Should I wait here? I was ordered to drive you, but not what to do once we got here.”

Roy patted his shoulder through the open window. “Take a drive. Be back in an hour.”

“Yes, sir.”

They waited until the car was at the far end of the long drive before turning back to the barn. “Do you think we’re the last ones here?” Ed wasn’t keen on the idea of making an entrance.

“I made sure of it.”

“Of course you did.” Ed wanted to ask if Roy remembered his paper, if Roy remembered what it was he had to do once the array was active, if Roy really was ready for this. Instead, he tugged on the hem of his coat, rolled his shoulders to loosen his muscles and headed toward the door.

The dim interior of the barn had been lit by several portable lights and a handful of torches. The Fuhrer was, as Roy predicted, already present with a group of about twenty individuals huddled against the far wall, where the lines of Ed’s array did not reach. Ed went through the list of people who’d been signed to secrecy and was relieved to see them all accounted for.

“General Mustang.” The Fuhrer nodded in his direction. “We’ve been waiting.”

“I apologize for the delay, Fuhrer.” Ed silently admired how Roy could sound apologetic and still, at the same time, seem as though he were the one being inconvenienced. He was also amused at how Roy offered no explanation for their lateness.

To keep the focus away from Roy, Ed stepped forward and pointed to the torches. “I’m going to need those snuffed; the fire will react badly with the array.” As the generals scurried to follow his command, Ed walked the perimeter of the array to inspect its integrity and make sure a stray boot print or animal trail hadn’t erased a key line. As he walked, he also checked the half a dozen concealed arrays that would subdue the others. Everything seemed in order, but Ed was hesitant to start. His heart was pounding against his ribs, all the moisture had left his mouth and Roy’s lilting taunt from earlier in the morning came back to haunt him. If he passed out now, would they ever get another chance?

Ed closed his eyes and balled his hands into fists then flexed them open until the feeling faded. He met Roy’s gaze across the room, nodded, and headed to the barn doors against the back wall. When he opened them, bright sunlight flooded the barn, illuminating his array and momentarily blinding him.

“Keep your eyes on the field to the south, that’s were the weapon is set to detonate. For safely reasons, the payload is one eighth the size of what you’ve projected to use in battle.” He tipped his head to the Fuhrer. “Feel free to move closer to the door, but please be careful of the array.”

The Fuhrer and a few of his generals moved to the door, but most of the entourage stayed well within the limits of the building. As though the flimsy wood might protect them should something go wrong. Ed wanted to correct them of their misconception, but there was no more time for delays.

“Anybody want to make a speech?”

Roy shot him a glare while Casspir frowned at him. “Activate the device, Fullmetal.”

He stepped in to the center of the array, clapped and pressed his hands to the ground. Instantly, the reaction began and all that Ed could see was the energy flowing from him and into the array. Something akin to electricity sparked along his nerves and poured from his fingers. Within seconds, the floor beneath him was scorched black and the chalk lines from the array began to burn, turning from chalk white to soot. As the reaction swelled, the six hidden arrays activated, just as they should, holding everyone but himself and Roy immobile. 

The floor of the barn was completely burned now and Ed could feel his strength ebbing, but the reaction was only half finished and the second part required even more energy. Ed swallowed past the dryness in his mouth and focused on pushing more of himself out into the array, activating the second layer, the one hidden below the first and the one that would begin to wipe the memories of the Fuhrer’s entourage. 

“Ed?”

Roy’s voice broke through his focus and he almost faltered in his work. “Not now.”

“You’re bleeding.”

Ed opened his eyes and saw a bright pool of red directly below his face. Now that he’d been made aware of it, Ed could feel the steady flow running from his nose. “Don’t worry about it.” It wouldn’t kill him. It wouldn’t affect the array. If anything, it might make the alchemy stronger.

With his eyes open, the blood gave him something else to focus on and he reached deep inside to the hidden reserve of power that he so very rarely had to use anymore. If the first part of the array had been similar to an electrical charge, the second part was like a lightning bolt. He almost cried out as the power rushed through him. In the peripheral of his vision, he could see his flesh hand turn white against the black ground as he strained to keep his hands firmly in place. 

Energy whipped around them and Ed could feel the exchange being made. Memories for blankness, thought for emptiness, will for inaction. He fought to keep his stomach from rebelling. He didn’t think he could keep the array active and throw up at the same time. In the background, he could hear Roy shouting something. Whether it was his name, a warning or a victory cheer, it was lost to Ed in the violence of the array.

And then it was over. The array was complete and the energy transfer stopped so suddenly, Ed fell forward, catching himself on his elbows just before his face smashed into the ground. His ears were ringing, his body felt broken and twisted and he was afraid to open his eyes. It felt like the array had been successful, but he’d been wrong before.

“Ed?” Roy’s hands were on his shoulders, pulling him back from the floor and tipping his head up. He’d taken his coat off and was using it to stem the flow of blood from Ed’s nose.

“You don’t have time for this.” His own words sounded muffled and dense, like he was speaking underwater or from very far away. “We have to start the memory imprint. I’ll be up in a minute.” Though he felt very far away from being able to stand and help, he knew he must.

“Ed—“

“Go!”

Roy stood, but left his coat in Ed’s arms and began the slow circuit around the room. Soon, the soft cadence of Roy’s voice filled the barn, relaying the story of the incident to each witness. Part of the plan was to tell each witness a different variation of events so that, when they were questioned, it would seem more authentic.

When he felt he could stand, Ed pushed himself up from the ground, leaving Roy’s coat and started on his side of the room. He was still bleeding, though it had slowed, he didn’t want to have to speak muffled through a coat.

“The trip to the barn is the same. Entering the room is the same. You were waiting for us. We arrived, a little late. I instructed you to put out the torches and move clear of the array. I was about to activate the array for the Test when General Viers pulled his weapon and aimed it at the Fuhrer. There was a fight. It happened so fast you can’t remember the details. Roy and I were using alchemy. You remember the shot, and thought the Fuhrer must be dead he fell so fast. Roy and I contained Viers and tended to the Fuhrer, an arm wound. You ran for help.” He repeated the story twice more until he was sure it would stick and then he moved to the next person.

Around and around, Ed repeated the tale until he thought he could say it in his sleep. His throat was raw and he coughed his way through the last witness until the only one left was the Fuhrer. He came to stand next to Roy, leaning on his shoulder and listening to the Fuhrer’s special version of the events.

“You’re tired. You’re so very tired. Being head of state is far more taxing than you’d ever thought. You’ve been thinking of retiring for a while now, but didn’t want to bring it up with anyone, not even your loved ones. Your trip to the barn was the same, your entrance into the barn was the same. Your wait for Ed and I to arrive was the same. Viers seemed strange, but you thought it was the excitement of the Test. You though he was focused on what was best for Amestris. 

“Ed and I arrived. He asked the torches be doused. Viers was more fidgety as you went to stand by the barn doors. You heard the clap for Ed’s array and then saw the flash of Viers’ weapon. Pain, pain like you haven’t felt in years, blew through you. You fell. You thought you were going to die. It was so unfair, you were going to retire and now you were going to die on the floor of a barn. You heard the fight, but didn’t see it. Then I was beside you. Ed was at your side, staunching the wound, telling you help was on the way. 

“You were so close to death. The pain was more acute because your life was almost over. I saved you. Ed saved you. You can’t think of anyone else in Amestris who would be better suited to taking your place. I should be Fuhrer. You’ve been thinking I would make an excellent replacement. Today has only solidified this in your mind. You want to retire somewhere quiet and calm and never think about this again. You want your peace. Viers should be imprisoned, but you don’t want him killed. There’s been too much death. Remember.” 

Again and again until there was no doubt the Fuhrer would remember only what Roy wanted him to remember. Then, as he watched, Roy pulled Viers’ weapon and shot Casspir in the arm. The Fuhrer was so far under he didn’t move and made no sound as the bullet entered him.

“Give me your coat,” Roy said quietly, his voice level.

Ed shrugged out of the jacket and handed it over. He checked his watch and saw it would only be a matter of minutes before the drivers began arriving to pick them up. “We need to get a hold of Hughes.”

“Why don’t you sit down? You’re still bleeding.” With his outer coat lying on the floor in the dust, Roy looked between them for a moment, then shrugged out of his shirt to press against Ed’s face, leaving him standing in his undershirt and dress pants. 

“Exhibitionist.” His words and half smile were muffled through the cloth.

The blank nature of Roy’s face didn’t fade at Ed’s words. “You sit there and don’t move. I’ll see to the rest of it.”

“Roy?”

Roy’s mouth tightened. “You neglected to tell me that the array would half kill you to activate.”

“Half kill? Do I look half dead to you?” He was a little tired, and maybe a little dizzy, but he could still get up and fight if he had to.

“Yes. You do. So sit there and don’t move. Things are going to start happening very quickly now.”

“Why are you angry?” Ed tried to stay calm, not to mirror back Roy’s anger and make the blood rush out of him even faster.

“Because I thought you were going to die, you idiot. How many fucking times do I have to say it, none of this is worth anything if you’re not with me.” Roy’s fists were clenched and the veins in his neck stood out in his anger. He was furious and glorious when he burned.

“I wasn’t going to die.” He paused, and pulled Roy’s shirt from his face so Roy could hear his next words clearly. “Some things, though, some things are worth it, Roy. Keeping Amestris safe? Would have been worth it.” He held up a hand when it looked like Roy was going to argue. “But I would have told you.”

Roy stared at him for a long time until Ed had to look away and shift under his gaze. “Tilt your head forward and put pressure on it before you bleed to death. I’m going to go see about help. They should be waking up soon.”

Ed did as he was told, leaning forward until his forehead was pressed against he burned floor. As Roy’s footsteps faded in the background, he closed his eyes for just a moment in hopes of easing some of the pain in his head. Just for a moment.

**

The gentle sway of a moving car and a hissed conversation greeted Ed upon waking. He kept his eyes closed to gage the mood of the conversation before letting them know he was aware. Roy sounded irritated, Hughes sounded pissed and Havoc, when he spoke, sounded panicked.

“Look, it doesn’t matter now.” Roy huffed out a breath, meaning he was feeling cornered and wronged. “It was treason. The less people who knew, the better.”

Havoc cleared his throat nervously. “We helped you with treason the last time, General.”

“This was different. What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry your feelings are hurt.” He didn’t sound sorry at all. “But you know now and I need you to focus. Everyone’s memories have set perfectly, but I don’t want them questioned too much. And I want the Resonance Alchemist transferred as far away from Central as you can manage it and still keep him in the country. We need to figure out a way to block that kind of talent.”

“You’re talking like your Fuhrer already.”

“That’s because, if we have any kind of luck, I will be by the end of the day.” Roy stroked his hand down Ed’s arm. “You might as well open your eyes. You’re not fooling anyone.” 

“That was some demonstration, Edward. Your brother is going to kill you, you know.” Hughes at least looked happy to see him awake. “Can you tell me how long we can expect their memories to stay altered?”

Ed cleared his dry throat, wishing for a glass of water, and sat up a little in his seat. “The victims the Wellspring Alchemist experimented on have never regained their memories. It’s been almost ten years and they’ve had numerous alchemist and doctors try and help them regain what was lost. I strengthened the lines of his array; we have no reason to think that anyone is going to probe the incident too greatly so I believe that they’ll hold indefinitely.” He tipped his head back against the seat, exhausted from just the short conversation and wondering how far away they were from sleep. Hours, if not days, he imagined.

“All right. As soon as we get back to Command, I’ll start on a press release. No one knows yet, but the hospital isn’t going to be able to keep this quiet. Having the Fuhrer as a gunshot victim isn’t something that happens every day. Someone is going to talk and it’ll be better if we can spin it first before rumor does.” Hughes pointed to Roy. “The best thing for you to do is be visible and in control and issuing orders. We want to make the transition from Casspir to you seem as natural as possible. People are going to ask questions, that’s only natural, but we want to be able to laugh them off, not have to answer them seriously. You and I will get off here and Havoc will drive Ed to the hospital.”

“What?” Ed sat up and wished he hadn’t as his vision spun wildly. “No, no hospitals. I’m fine.”

Roy didn’t look at him. “You’ll go to the hospital and they will make sure you’re all right.”

Hughes looked between the two of them, raising his eyebrows before addressing Ed. “We need someone at the hospital who can keep an eye on what’s going on and make sure everything stays under control.”

“Anyone could do that. It doesn’t have to be me.”

“You’ll go to the hospital, Ed.”

Ed frowned. “Are you that intent on getting rid of me?”

“I’m that intent on making sure you haven’t injured yourself.”

Roy’s hand was still in his, holding tight enough to crush the bones of his fingers together. “You’re not Fuhrer yet, Roy. You can’t order me to do anything I don’t want to do.”

“No? I can order Havoc to drive you there. I can lock the doors to this car. I can order every single person in the hospital to keep you from leaving. Do you really want to have this argument now?”

Ed looked at the others in the car. Hughes was doing his best to seem interested in the view out the passenger window, and Havoc kept shifting his eyes between the road and the rearview mirror nervously. The problem was he didn’t want to fight almost as much as he didn’t want to go to the hospital. “You’re always so fucking unreasonable. Do whatever you want. You always do.”

“That’s nice.” Roy pulled his hand away. “You can stop the car here, Havoc.” They were close enough to the main steps that it could have been a normal place for them to stop, but Roy’s silence made it clear he wanted out of the car. “Call when you get to the hospital,” he said over his shoulder, though it wasn’t clear if he was addressing Havoc or Ed.

Roy slammed the car door and Havoc met Ed’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “You could have handled that a little better, boss.”

Ed rolled his eyes. “That man is going to be insufferable as Fuhrer.”

Havoc eased the car back into traffic and cleared his throat. “I’ve known Mustang for most of my life and the only reason I’m not freaking out right now is because I trust him. Last time there was some bad shit going on with those things that had a hard time staying dead and whatever. But this time, it’s just his word and yours that Casspir was creating something really, really bad.” He held up a hand to cut off Ed’s protest. “I’m not saying you’re a liar, or that you’d do this without good reason, but you have to know how this looks to the rest of us.”

Weary and aching, Ed nodded and relaxed back into the seat. “I know.” He huffed a laugh. “The bitch of it is I think that if Roy had been able to figure out a way to do it, he wouldn’t have even bothered to let me know what was going on.”

Havoc put the car in gear. “You ready?”

“Fuck, no.” He opened the passenger side door and put his feet on the ground to keep Havoc from pulling forward. “You’re out of your mind if you think I’m going to the hospital. I’ll end up hooked to some machine or drip or something and be completely useless. I’m going inside.”

“Mustang ordered me—“

“Roy said he could order you, but he didn’t actually do it. Besides, we both know it’s me he’ll be pissed at when he finds out. He’s already pissed, what’s a little more?” Ed gripped the doorframe and pushed himself to his feet, pleased when he didn’t immediately fall over. When he looked at the long stretch of stairs ahead of him, however, the distance was daunting. “A little help?”

Havoc took one last drag on his cigarette and flicked it in to the gutter. He looked reluctant to help, but even more reluctant to let Ed fall on his face. He shrugged. “It’s not my point to prove, boss. Let’s get you inside.”

With Havoc’s help and a slow, steady pace, Ed managed to make it inside. He was winded and dizzy, thinking that he’d pushed himself further than he thought, but at least he hadn’t fallen on his face or had to sit on the steps to regain his strength. Just inside the main doors, Ross was waiting for them, a frown on her face and her arms crossed. Ed felt like he was fifteen all over again.

“There’s a room waiting for you and your brother’s been called.”

“I don’t know why you’re angry,” Ed muttered as they headed off down the hall. 

Ross spun. “Maybe because when you can’t walk up twenty steps without the help of another person, when you’re so pale I can hardly believe there’s any blood left in you at all, you should have gone to the hospital instead of trying to do whatever you want.”

For a moment, Ed hovered between outraged and chastised, but he was lightheaded again and tired of everyone blaming him instead of thanking him for keeping the most dangerous weapon in the history of Amestris out of the hands of a crazy, power hungry nut job. And frankly, given their history, to call something the most dangerous weapon should have definitely made more of an impact on everyone. “Whatever.” 

He pushed past Ross into the room and sat on the low couch. God, he did not miss military-issued furniture. The room settled from a fast spin to a lazy circuit once he was seated, and the water Havoc handed him helped even more. He was aware of Havoc and Ross hovering just outside his immediate range, but he kept his eyes closed and figured that as long as everyone was quiet, they could be as mad as they wanted.

He must have dozed off again because the next thing he knew Al was in the room, full of concern and fury. “What the hell is going on, brother? What have you done to yourself and why is everyone walking around looking like it’s the end of the world? I had to go through three different security checkpoints just to get in the door.” As he spoke, he started unpacking his case, and then took Ed’s blood pressure.

Ed looked around the room. Havoc and Ross were stationed by the door and if he knew his military, there was someone outside the room as well. “Do you know where the Resonance Alchemist is?”

Havoc nodded. “He’s at the hospital with the rest of the witnesses. They’re being checked out and detained there until General Mustang gives the all clear.”

A weight that Ed hadn’t even realized was resting on him lifted. He felt like he could breathe for the first time in weeks. “The official story is going to be that General Viers tried to make his bid for power by attempting assassination of the Fuhrer. Roy and I managed to stop him, but not before Viers injured Casspir.”

Al took out a small journal and noted details from Ed’s exam. “What’s the real story?” His voice was harsh, but his hands were gentle as they ran over the bones of Ed’s face and checked the pulse at his neck. 

“Roy and I contrived the whole thing. Casspir was developing something really fucking dangerous so we took him out of power and altered the memories of every person involved.” He swallowed. Saying it that way, out loud in a way that he’d been unable to communicate since he first noticed something was wrong with Roy, he could understand finally why everyone was pissed.

Al’s jaw clenched. “You used Hunting’s research?”

Ed couldn’t look him in the eye. “Yeah.”

“Fuck!” Ed jumped at the violence of Al’s outburst. “Of all the ignorant, irresponsible things to do! Do you know how dangerous, how wrong it is to do that to someone? The people he experimented on have never recovered their memories or their personalities. I don’t care what kind of weapon Casspir wanted, it doesn’t justify this.”

Ed took the journal from Al’s shaking hand and drew a quick sketch of the array. “That’s what he was working on.” He handed it back to Al. “He wanted to combine that array with a physical weapon.” He could see when Al understood the destructive power of the array. “Any means justifies this end. I won’t apologize.”

After a moment of silence, Al tore the page from his journal, drew a quick array on the corner of the paper and dropped it as it burst into flames. It was nothing but ash by the time it hit the floor. “Okay.” He drew a penlight and checked Ed’s eyes. “You could have asked for my help.”

“I didn’t want you anywhere near this. Also, we were being watched. I couldn’t take the chance that someone might find out and, you know, kill us for treason.”

Al dropped his hands to his sides and stepped in, leaning down to rest his forehead against the top of Ed’s head. “God.”

“Yeah.”

Eventually, Al blew out a tired breath and straightened. “Well, the good news is you’re not going to die, but I don’t like your blood pressure at all. I’m going to hook you up to a pint of blood and let that run and see how you are. You might as well get comfortable; you’re not going to be moving any time soon.”

“Will you stay?”

Al sighed and looked like he’d rather have some time alone. “I have some paperwork I can catch up on, I guess.”

“Thanks.”

**

“He’s not in any danger. He was a little low on blood and he used a lot of his energy reserve, but it’s nothing a little sleep won’t fix.”

“It’s funny how people who want you to sleep always talk about it loud enough to wake you up.” Ed cracked an eye with a mock glare for Al that turned to a true one when he saw Roy. “Nice of you to drop by.”

“I could say the same about you doing as I asked.”

”Yeah, so I’m going to go. Call me when you can talk, brother.” Al, the coward, practically ran from the room. Ed noted that Havoc and Ross had cleared out as well.

Ed sat up slowly, pleased when the room didn’t start spinning. “How long have I been out?”

“Long enough. Viers is in custody, Casspir came through surgery well and I’ve been named acting Fuhrer. We expect there to be a formal announcement from Casspir within the next day.” Roy didn’t seem particularly pleased by any of the information.

“Congratulations.”

Roy snorted and finally looked away, easing the tension between them. “I meant what I said.”

“What was that?” Roy couldn’t fault him for wanting specifics. Sometimes the man held full conversations in his sleep he talked so much.

“I’m glad we stopped Casspir. Utterly fucking relieved, because that’s not the kind of weapon any one person should have. But none of it is worth it if I don’t have you.” Roy swallowed, stepped closer and dropped to his knees in front of Ed. “You’re everything.” He wrapped his arms around Ed’s waist and pressed his face into Ed’s thighs hard enough to hurt. “You’re everything.”

Ed wrapped his own arms around Roy and held him just as tightly. “I love you, too.”

**

"For the good of the people. For the good of Amestris." Roy held up a hand to wave to the crowd far in the back. A stunning amount of people had turned up to hear Roy’s first public address as Fuhrer, to hear his promise of a bright future and a new form of government. He and Hughes had been working on the speech for weeks and Ed had to admit, it had been a fine bit of oration. He wasn’t sure how Roy was going to pull any of it off, or if the promises he made were even doable, but it sounded pretty and Roy seemed to believe it. The fact that the crowd loved him was just icing.

"He did good."

Ed nodded and smiled carefully at his brother. A tension that had never existed between them before still lingered around the edges. Al was having a hard time reconciling his distaste for what Ed had done and his wish that Ed had included him in the research from the beginning. They were getting better—Ed wasn’t swamped by a sick, guilty feeling every time he looked at Al, and Al wasn’t prone to smacking him with any available object anymore—but it was a slow process. "He’s eating up all the attention. The part where he has a personal butler is going to push him over the edge into total narcissism and laziness. I don’t know how the government is going to run from the bed, but I think we’re all going to find out."

"How’re you adjusting to the Manor?"

One of the perks neither Roy nor Ed had considered in their coup was that as Fuhrer, they’d be upgrading to a much nicer residence. "It’s weird. As much as I bitched about the old house and the neighbors and the yard, I kind of miss it. I keep expecting the faucet to drip and the tile in the kitchen to be chipped and it’s not and it’s weird. We spent so long trying to figure out how to get Roy here, and now all I want to do is figure out how long he has to stay."

Roy gave one last wave from the podium and walked off the stage towards Ed, followed by his small entourage of security. Change, even good change, in Amestris often meant unrest. "What did you think?"

"You were brilliant," Al smiled at Roy like he hadn’t had anything to do with the whole mess that made Ed a person to be angry with. 

Still, Ed couldn’t argue with greatness. “I think Amestris won’t know what hit it.”

Roy’s grin was worth every second of worry and heartache. He was in his element and almost glowing with purpose. “I’ll have them wrapped around my finger in no time.”

“It won’t be easy, you know.”

Roy looped his arm through Ed’s and pulled him close to his side. “That’s okay. I don’t think it would be worth it if it were easy.”

Ed nodded, wondering if he could learn that lesson any better if he had the words tattooed on his body. “Are you done for the night or do you need to head back to the office?”

“I’m done, but I did have something I wanted to talk with you about.” He looked to Al. “Both of you, actually. I’ve been talking with my advisers and I’d like to look in to the possibility of setting up a government sponsored, but not necessarily military, branch of alchemists. They would have a lot of the same benefits of the State Alchemists, but none of the military disadvantages.” He stopped, waiting for them to follow suit. “I’d like you two to run it.”

All the thoughts in Ed’s brain tried to make it to his mouth at once, and he was unable to say a single thing. He looked helplessly at Al who had an expression similar to what Ed imagined was his own.

“The Elric Brothers, speechless. Can I take that as a ‘yes’?

Al was the first to gather himself together. “That would be amazing,” he said slowly. “But I have patients and commitments and—“

“The logistics of organizing alchemists in a non-military setting would be immense.” Ed closed his eyes at the thought of the first disagreement and walk-out of a temperamental alchemist.

Roy laughed. “Just come to the meeting tomorrow at ten and hear what we have to say.”

“But—“

“How could you organize—“

“Just come to the meeting.” Roy grabbed an arm from each of them and steered them to the Roadster waiting to take them back to the Manor. “Come to the meeting and we’ll see what’s next.”


End file.
